Wierdo Warnings

All California schools train kids on drills for earthquakes,

but not all worry about what to do if the local damn breaks.
Only last week I learned about one school's wacky plan...
The students are to run to the hills as fast as they possibly can!
Run children... run super duper ridiculously quick!
Now that's an evacuation plan that seems purely mythic.
I couldn't believe anyone would call this a safety measure,
but my source had direct knowledge and didn't say it to be clever.

After learning of this very silly sounding idea for disaster refuge,
I had to see if there were other plans written by a twin stooge.
I didn't have to spend too much time searching the Internet,
before I found another example that I won't soon forget.
I'm hoping this plan has been updated by the military...
I find it's semi-recent spotting in San Diego a bit scary.
I agree with Mr. Harrison  - it's nice they're so optimistic,
but don't they realize it also sounds quite fatalistic?

Lastly I found a photo of this freaky warning sign...
the shock value of the image sent a shiver down my spine.
I think it's a mosquito that's carrying off the stick figure,
a sign idea you'd think would face immediate censure.
Just a glimpse, for a child, could cause complete panic,
as it does for many who are unsure if it's a gimmick.
Hopefully these type of weirdo warnings aren't too commonplace...
if they are I'll need a safety bunker to find my happy place.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

This poem was added to the Poetry Potluck on January 9th, 2011
and won me the Kreativ Blogger award from Jingle Poetry.  :o)

Spooner Tickles My Humor

Tuesday night I attended an independent film screening hosted by edhat.
The movie, Spooner, was the best I've ever seen at a festival like that.
Rumor has it the flick will be showing at a many theaters this fall...
so you should be able to go see it sometime soon at the mall.

Different bits and pieces reminded me of various movies which bring me delight:
Office Space, Good Luck Chuck, 40 Year Old Virgin, and Napoleon Dynamite.
It has characters you'll love and weirdos to make you laugh,
the average dysfunctional family and car salesmen riffraff.

The story revolves around Harold Spooner's 30th birthday...
the date by which his parents say he must move away.
He has money to pay but nowhere else he wants to dwell.
Without parents, a flat screen & surround sound he'll be living in hell.

As he's trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life,
he falls for beautiful Rose during her moment of strife.
I'm not going to tell you where the plot goes from there...
though you might want to know, the producers would care.

I will tell you that the audience laughed loudly and repeatedly,
and that scenes like "I could palm your face" are a must see.
And don't underestimate the contribution of the supporting cast,
they'll win you over with family and office humor incredibly fast.

In fact, Spooner's boss may be the Bill Lumbergh of used cars,
and his parents the comedic examples of Venus and Mars.
As you can probably tell, I recommend seeing this movie.
I think the cast, characters and plot are two-thumbs-up-groovy.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

Wanted: Seeing Eye Birds

I've worked at an office in Goleta since 2008,
and think we need to help the birds before it's too late.
I now know of two that have flown right into a transformer...
If you were that blind you'd want someone to warn ya.

Perhaps some of the wealthier residents nearby,
would be interested in giving bird training a try.
Or if they aren't looking for a new pastime,
they could finance the foundation... that'd be fine!

You see, what we need is some seeing eye birds,
that could sit watch and, when needed, make their voices heard.
This caring act could prevent a future power outage,
or worse, another fire which could destroy the townage.

Also please, if you know a smart bird who's up for the task,
and would let him sit in the sun each day and bask...
Bring him or her to Goleta to lend a helping hand,
because seeing eye birds are in very high demand.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011