The Single Girl's 12 Years of Christmas

(Feel free to skip to the end if you aren't the type to sing along like me. 
Otherwise, get ready to sing a new version of the 12 Days of Christmas... gleefully.)

Ostrich photograph ©2011 - Rachel Hoyt
Holiday photo editing assistance provided by Lens Tripping Photography. 
Thank you, Jewell.  You rule!

On my first single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
A magic money-growing tree.

On my second single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree.

On my third single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
Three nice seamen,
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree. 

On my fourth single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
Four fine diners,
Three nice seamen,
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree.

On my fifth single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
Five gay designers,
Four fine diners,
Three nice seamen,
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree.

On my sixth single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
Six gamblers gambling,
Five gay designers,
Four fine diners,
Three nice seamen,
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree.

On my seventh single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
Seven jokesters rambling,
Six gamblers gambling,
Five gay designers,
Four fine diners,
Three nice seamen,
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree.

On my eighth single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
Eight posh vintners,
Seven jokesters rambling,
Six gamblers gambling,
Five gay designers,
Four fine diners,
Three nice seamen,
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree.

On my ninth single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
Nine soul sisters,
Eight posh vintners,
Seven jokesters rambling,
Six gamblers gambling,
Five gay designers,
Four fine diners,
Three nice seamen,
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree.

On my tenth single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
Ten pills for popping,
Nine soul sisters,
Eight posh vintners,
Seven jokesters rambling,
Six gamblers gambling,
Five gay designers,
Four fine diners,
Three nice seamen,
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree.

On my eleventh single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
Eleven gems for gawking,
Ten pills for popping,
Nine soul sisters,
Eight posh vintners,
Seven jokesters rambling,
Six gamblers gambling,
Five gay designers,
Four fine diners,
Three nice seamen,
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree.

On my twelfth single Christmas,
I wished Santa’d bring to me
free plastic surgery,
Eleven gems for gawking,
Ten pills for popping,
Nine soul sisters,
Eight posh vintners,
Seven jokesters rambling,
Six gamblers gambling,
Five gay designers,
Four fine diners,
Three nice seamen,
Two handymen,
And a magic money-growing tree! 

© 2011 - All rights reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Technorati Tags: Christmas, Holidays, Song Parody, Humor, Rhyme, Poetry

Custom Rewards Can Fulfill Dreams of Gourds

Image by Pixomar via freedigitalphoto.net

I would love to get some of my kicks in life

by causing my credit card company strife.

I've recently learned some now offer custom rewards.

I can make them buy me copper or gourds?!

I could request a free cattle drive experience

or try anti-gravity to build my resilience.

I could sail around the world on a yacht

all because I charged many things that I bought.

I could finally get that Wii I've wanted

or the concert tickets that have taunted.

I could get an entire herd of goats

or pay to construct multiple moats.

I could myself a mountain of fine cheese

or nearly anything else that I please...

If I just charge thousands on my card,

achieving my dreams will be a little less hard.

I could finally take that long planned trip

where I will indulge in a Dead Sea dip.

I could see the famous Galapagos Islands

or the stars at the Hollywood Highlands.

I guess I could pay for all of this myself

if I'd stash some coins in that jar on my shelf,

but getting it from them is so much more fun!

That's what makes my card like a loaded gun.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Entertainment, Blogging, Credit Cards, Humor, Rewards, Poetry