The moment I saw this funny cartoon on Neatorama, a tune popped into my head: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon. Thankfully, the artist agreed to let me use his image as well so I could finish writing this song parody in rhyme.
Image used by permission. © Lunchbreath. All rights reserved.
The problem is your screwed up mind she said to me.
The answer is simple if you just think stylishly.
Fashion's here to help with your watch-free identity.
There must be fifty ways to bling your wristy.
She said I usually don't insult a sister's style.
But I think you got that watch from a thrift store jewelry pile.
That you still wear one brings to me an awkward smile.
There must be fifty ways to bling your wristy.
Fifty ways to bling your wristy.
You could make a cool cash stash.
A pocket for chill pills.
But don't wear a toy. Oy!
That's just plain silly.
Get hip to the style, child.
You'll be smiling for a while...
Just some sort of bling thing
and something glue-e.
She said creatively
think less plain than a chain.
I wish for you a miniature zoo
though that sounds insane.
I said I'd really like that
and please, what else remains
on your list of ways...
She said I'm so sorry but
we're closing for the night.
I believe crafting til morning,
would help you to see the light.
And then it hit me -
I realized that she probably was right.
I'll think of fifty ways
to bling my wristy.
Fifty ways to bling my wristy.
I'll make me an ouch puch.
Maybe I'll darn yarn.
Hide things I buy. Why?
Just 'cuz it's funny.
Nicknacks on display, eh?
I believe I've got a pile...
There the fifty things will be.
I'll bling my wristy.
Fifty ways to bling my wristy...
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