Rhyme Me A Smile: humorous poetry

Showing posts with label humorous poetry. Show all posts

Saturday, October 4, 2014

When Loving Your Job is Like Joining a Cult

The Corporate Personality

by Rachel Hoyt

image by stockimages via freedigitalphotos.net

It's all for one - a single goal:

endear our product to your soul.

We found it was love at first sight.

We know that you'll see we were right.

We sometimes work from dusk to dawn

(if you count camp outs on the lawn).

We love rare beats and ethnic foods

and how emoji boost our moods.

We hate to wear our shoes indoors

(and thus also hate cold tile floors).

We banned memos, don't use voicemail,

and have greeters who wag their tails.

A family, we grow as one -

each bullets in a loaded gun.

Some say the "best" way to build a small business

is to act like a cult leader and embrace prejudice.

Technorati Tags: Work, Cliques, Poem, Rhyme, Thoughts, Poetry

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Some Can't Afford to Sleep

Nap for Hope

by Rachel Hoyt

image by BimXD via freedigitalphotos.net

It comes at you while you're awake -

The American Dream.

Inside your lids, the world looks fake,

Just roses and sunbeams.

With just one nudge, it vanishes,

Engulfed by dollar signs.

The time clock's ticking banishes

The dream for which hope pines.

8 hours for work, 8 hours for rest,

8 hours for your free will?

That's just a goal. (It's not a jest.)

Still, one must pay the bills.

Cherish the moments in between,

When you can nap for hope.

A moment in that serene scene

Will boost your will to cope.

The lowest paid workers need three to four jobs just to survive.

They can't afford to sleep and live lives busier than a beehive.

Technorati Tags: Work, Sleep, Poem, Rhyme, Thoughts, Poetry

Saturday, August 2, 2014

A Reward Seems Greater if it Comes From Your Choice

Pro-Choice

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Stuart Miles via freedigitalphotos.net

My choice is better than your choice

because the thought was mine;

My choice is truer to my voice,

yours imitates it fine;

My choice is cause to rejoice,

yours (sometimes) tickles my spine.

Scientists say we like our choices more

than any plan another might have in store.

Technorati Tags: Choice, Reward, Poem, Rhyme, Thoughts, Poetry

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Everything's Fishy In The Fish Business

Fishy Business

by Rachel Hoyt

image by olovedogs via freedigitalphotos.net

Wild fish,

Farm fish,

White fish,

Hued fish -

Mislabeled,

Finagled -

Slick impostors

Fill the rosters.

Mild fish,

Charm fish,

Fright fish,

Lewd fish -

Exposing,

Proposing -

It's all fishy,

Smelly, squishy...

Are you sure the fish you eat is the type you think it is?

Apparently, there's a lot of bait and switch in the seafood biz.

Technorati Tags: Fish/span>, Fake, Poem, Rhyme, Thoughts, Poetry

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Did You, Do You Play With Barbie Dolls?

Barbie

by Rachel Hoyt

image by stockimages via freedigitalphotos.net

Her lips can quip

a wiser voice

without a drip

of conscious choice.

Her hair can snare

a love for manes

with curves that dare

one to stay sane.

Her waist can waste

a young girls dreams,

trade in a trade

for frills and seams.

A new study says that playing with any Barbie

can limit the career choices a young girl sees.

Technorati Tags: Barbie, Dolls, Poem, Rhyme, Play, Poetry

Saturday, October 26, 2013

The Forty Hour Work Week Powers The Economy

Economy Loop

by Rachel Hoyt

image by digitalart via freedigitalphotos.net

If you designed your life,

You would want to work less,

From that we'd all feel strife,

Progress would be a mess,

If you got to work less,

You might not spend so much,

Progress would be a mess,

Indulgence not your crutch,

If you don't spend as much,

Your joys won't be the same,

Indulgence not your crutch,

Balance in life your game,

Your joys won't be the same,

With time you might seek health,

Balance in life your game,

Your gain would slash all wealth,

With time you might seek health,

Or actually read a book,

Your gain would slash all wealth,

Your self-control the crook,

If you rest or read books,

All lives would feel more strife,

Self-control is the crook,

So we designed your life.

It seems that the 8 hour work day's real profit

stems from keeping us weak and our fire to spend lit.

Technorati Tags: Profit, Work, Poem, Rhyme, Think, Poetry

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Charging for Visibility on the Internet

We Coin Charge

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Pixomar via freedigitalphotos.net

You'll still be in control,

So long as you have money -

It's just a little toll,

Nothing remotely funny -

We just want to make friends

With those who can pay most -

Coins transform means into ends,

In freedom visions coast.

Verizon wants to limit the internet

to those who will pay for the visibility they'll get.

Technorati Tags: Internet, Profit, Poem, Rhyme, Freedom, Poetry

Thursday, September 19, 2013

If You Grow Up In A Bubble, Be Cautious How You Burst

Bubble Life

by Rachel Hoyt

When you're inside looking out,

They don't hear you when you shout.

Opaque walls trap every sound,

From soaking into the ground.

Thoughts bounce around gaining strength,

Hoping to fly to great lengths.

When it pops and all falls down,

Spills into life's cracks and frowns,

Sounds begin to tap on ears,

Thoughts wig out and jump off piers,

The bubble ceases to be,

But that which it'd trapped lives to roam free.

I read of the "first female Massai warrior"

and wondered what the Massai gals thought of her.

Technorati Tags: Massai, Warrior, Poem, Rhyme, Kenya, Poetry

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Wacky Word Wednesday - Antapology

Antapology

(an ta PO lo gy)

by Rachel Hoyt

image by bigjom via freedigitalphotos.net

An antapology

is not an ant's apology

nor does it mean not sorry -

It's the reply to an apology,

sayings like, "Oh gee.

No need to cry for me."

That's an antapology.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Antapology, Poetry

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Thursday Thoughts - On Moving to Mars

Red Light, Red Planet

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Victor Habbick via freedigitalphotos.net

I will not pay five dollars for

a roll in your next show,

To leave my planet evermore -

You should beg me to go.

Although force feeding vegan food

might help my health a bit,

Nothing can make the Mars dust good -

For tat we know no tit.

Crater hopping sure does sound fun,

but dodging asteroids?

That space suit best be made to run

and locate nearby voids,

like the ones where your cameras

will be properly placed

to record gruesome last hurrahs

without being erased.

I'll save my dreams for the next flight,

planet, or galaxy -

The profit sharing seems not right,

I would rather stay free.

Thousands have applied to die on Mars.
Do you think it's because they want spaceships, not cars?

Technorati Tags: Space, Mars, Explore, Poem, Rhyme, Poetry

Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Making of Los Caped Barbarinos

Shelly Seuss and Flying Flower

by Rachel Hoyt

I was running down a dream

when a new one flew to me:

a scooter gang making a scene

with capes flapping wild and free -

We smile at the joy and laughter around

(whether it flies with or at us)

and seek to enhance that which surrounds

the heaven where two wheels took us.

I whispered out my dream

to a flower flying by -

It echoed like a scream,

shot my dream across the sky -

"Shelly Seuss shall ride," said the stars,

"and she will wear a cape -

With Flying Flower you'll surprise cars

and make bystanders gape."

Now we scoot down our dream

following its scent beyond the breeze,

attempting to emit a glee beam,

while giving the world a cape tease.

Technorati Tags: Scooter, Gang, Group, Poem, Rhyme, Poetry

A new scooter gang is forming in SB

which aims to fill the town with silly glee...

(Sorry that the video quality is a bit lacking.
We are happy to accept any extra GoPros you're packing.)

Flying Flower flying...

Shelly Seuss learns to fly...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Wacky Word Wednesday - Xanthippe or Xantippe

Xanthippe / Xantippe

(zan THIP ee / zan TIP ee)

by Rachel Hoyt

photo by imagerymajestic via freedigitalphotos.net

A xanthippe or xantippe,

Like Socrates' wife is snippy,

Nags more than a campaigning hippy,

Might also be described as lippy,

A 'debate' starter - xanthippe.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Xanthippe, Poetry

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Thursday Thoughts - On Curing Homelessness

A Swede Strategy

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Mantas Ruzveltas via freedigitalphotos.net

Removing park benches is just so last year,

Demanding proof of need makes some live in fear,

But creating a commercial need for their spots?

Some crazy Swede thinks it's a win for both lots.

They hope to convince the hostel loving crowd,

That they aren't really living their lives out loud -

Abandoned warehouses and sports stadiums,

Are the place to stay if one's dreading doldrums.

Bravo Swede Shack Pimp, you ground grabber you -

Now everything costs the way it's supposed to,

No sacred spot's safe from capitalist goons,

Taking while teaching we savage buffoons.

I don't believe there's a cure for homelessness

but the Swedes seem to think they've figured out this mess.

Technorati Tags: Homeless, Hotel, Camping, Rhyme, Poetry

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Thursday Thoughts - Businesses and Organizations as Father Figures

Figurative Fathers

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Stuart Miles via freedigitalphotos.net

Instigating Irving

Says and does crazy things,

Then, like the USDA,

Spellz thah issyou away.

With a pop like Pushy Pete,

The answer is never, "Retreat!"

They think like the Pentagon -

A power house can't be a pawn.

Guys like Generous Jerry,

Have finances quite scary,

Like Amazon no income,

Can cover their family's fun.

Egalitarian Earl,

Is a political pearl,

A WTO pal who,

Fights for fair in all we do.

This week I saw parenting styles in the news

and too many good stories from which to choose:

The USDA's weird rule,

The Pentagon's cybersecurity crew,

Amazon spending like a fool,

and the WTO scolds the USA, to name a few.

Technorati Tags: Prank, Swatting, Celebrity, Rhyme, Poetry

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Wacky Word Wednesday - Torpor

Torpor

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Michael Elliott via freedigitalphotos.net

To indulge in torpor

would not be a bore

or feel like a chore

even if the floor

held you in torpor.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Torpor, Poetry

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Thursday Thoughts - The Evolution of Pranks

The Quip Prank Flow

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Stuart Miles via freedigitalimages.net

A TPed house,

Or good ding and dash,

Once brought giggles

To innocent lips -

A released mouse,

Or eggcellent bash,

Induced wiggles

In fingertips.

Now pretty things -

Pink flamingos

Or yarn wrapped trees -

are the cool 'rips'.

Now prankster rings

Invent fierce foes,

For celebrities -

Give SWAT Teams tips.

What will come next?

Ghost pranks by text?

Cars with new specs?

Furniture flips?

I miss the past.

This too won't last.

Change happens fast.

Let's hope for quips.

Tom Cruise and Chris Brown both got swatted recently -

a new childish prank that wastes government money.

Technorati Tags: Prank, Swatting, Celebrity, Rhyme, Poetry

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Wacky Word Wednesday - Bafflegab

Bafflegab

(baf uhl gab)

by Rachel Hoyt

image by bplanet via freedigitalphotos.net

Bafflegab, to me,

Is the gibbly gobbly gwee,

Spoken eloquently,

Proclaimed officially,

By those who represent me,

Politically -

Their bafflegab flows free.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Bafflegab, Poetry

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Thursday Thoughts - Judges and Creative Sentencing

Judge Shamus

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

If you dare deface my town,

I will dress you as a clown.

If you steal from the needy,

You'll be temp-tattooed 'Greedy'.

If you ditch cats in the cold,

You'll sleep where there's no stronghold.

I seek an eye for an eye,

Creatively, on the fly.

You may think that I am cruel,

But only you make you a fool.

I just flaunt your foolishness

And shame you with my wittiness.

This poem is about creative judges

who bravely risk reputation smudges

by creatively sentencing to help some learn

in life reputation is something you earn.

Technorati Tags: Creative, Judge, Sentencing, Rhyme, Poetry

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Thursday Thoughts - Amazon Kindle Content and Account Access

Pocket Garden

by Rachel Hoyt