Showing posts with label funny rhyme. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny rhyme. Show all posts

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Music Medium Funky With a Side of Spicy Sauce

Flavorful Tune
by Rachel Hoyt

image by renjith krishnan via freedigitalphotos.net


I like my music mezzo funky
spiced like beef stew - meaty, chunky,
with dashes of garlic, pepper, and onion,
popping out like mysterious grunion.

My feet retreat to restful corners
when beats blend or break at the poles of order,
Yet if the stew simmers mezzo spice
I taste and dance without thinking twice.

Copyright © 2014 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


They say they've found the perfect recipe
for casting a dance trance on you and me.



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Saturday, March 15, 2014

A Double Limerick for Dowsers


The Dowser
by Rachel Hoyt

A farmer was pondering his crops,
wondering how much the drought would chop,
when appeared a man
with wands in both hands -
a drip who claimed he felt the drops.

The farmer refused to believe
the honesty of his blind weave
until his wand struck
a hydrant, by luck,
and he said, "Plant here - a tough sieve."
Copyright © 2014 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


to find water from somewhere other than The Man.

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Friday, February 14, 2014

How Do You Respond to Hateful Comments?

Hate Loves Me
by Rachel Hoyt

image by ntwowe via freedigitalphotos.net


How can hate love me?  Let me shout the ways.
It loves me with its digs and blows and spite -
Fire my soul needs to achieve new heights,
for the roots of great with optimal grace.
Hate loves me for accepting everyday's
imbalance, the dark that tries to squash light.
Hate loves me rashly, as men show their might.
Hate loves me brashly, as they transpose praise.
Hate loves me with a passion rarely used,
on my high horse, and with heartfelt faith.
Hate loves me with a love I tried to lose
with my breakups - Hate loves me just the same,
Then, now, and forever! - and, if fate choose,
hate's love shall help propel me into fame.

Copyright © 2014 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


This poem is dedicated to one hateful edhat user
who helps fuel my purpose by calling me a loser.

I find that I can't avoid negative criticism
and I must handle it with pure optimism.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Even Robots Get the Blues

Room Blah
by Rachel Hoyt


Cleaning up dust,
And crumbs gone astray,
Preventing must,
Scrubbing the gray,

On-Off, Start-Stop,
No free will to choose,
Can't rise to the top,
Sing or strum the blues,

Alone with its thoughts,
The end is in sight,
To shed its bum lot,
It walks towards the light.

Copyright © 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.
 

A family in Austria claims theirs was the first,
that robots can have deadly emotional outbursts.
 
 
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Saturday, July 6, 2013

A Poem in Honor of Vegan Sellouts and Conscious Carnivores

The Conscious Carnivore's Chant
by Rachel Hoyt
 
image by nixxphotography via freedigitalphotos.net
 

I know that my resolve is not
strong enough, and it's all I've got,
so I will not become vegan.
I won't give up Green Eggs and Ham.
There's no carnage more stinky than
a once vegan who kicked the can.

I can't give up my cheese and milk.
They taste, to me, like cream and silk.
Plus, meat eat eaters let much milk spoil
and spilled milk still makes my blood boil...
Still, milk carnage stinks much less than
a once vegan who kicked the can.

I'll eat much less, but need some meat
once in a while - a diet treat.
I will seek meat that is raised with freedom
and love it to its end with a loud, "Yum."
Still, will my carnage stink any more than
a once vegan who kicked the can?

I will stand tall with the 'sellouts' who
had to give up veganism to
love things both of and on the Earth
and conquer food shame felt since birth.
For there is one thing more stinky than
a once vegan who kicked the can:
The shame bomb's swarthy, rotten smoke -
the vegan's exhaled verbal poke.
 
© 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.
 
 
I read about a site that was created to shame -
but when I tried to see it for myself
the content had gone missing from the shelf.
Directed instead to meet my meat,
I wondered who inspired them to be more discreet.
 
 
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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Thursday Thoughts - Bank Executives' Salaries

The Wizard's Work
by Rachel Hoyt
 
image by luigi diamanti via freedigitalphotos.net
 
You see,
How it works is we
Do some magic math to show
That which our dreams already know -
We're fabulous and gaining ground,
Profits secure, salaries sound.
 
You're right,
There's been a slight
Trickle down delay in effect.
Our bonuses and stock shares reflect
All the same woes as those who wail
And our losses top the money scale.
 
You know,
Any One could go
Move to greener pastures for
That salary if you ignore
Their wizardly worth
For giving ideas girth.
 
Yeah sure,
We could conjure
A less selfish structure,
But the current culture would rupture.
Then how would jealousy motivate?
(Our potions for that aren't as great.)
 
© 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.
 
 
Activist investors are working to cut back
the wizard's pay and get "ours" back on track
 
 
Technorati Tags: Investment, Bank, Salary, Rhyme, Poetry
 
 
Read more rhymes by Rachel at her column, Clickety Clack -
poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Wacky Word Wednesday - Semordnilap

Semordnilap
by Rachel Hoyt
 
image by digitalart via freedigitalphotos.net
 
Palindromes back-
Words like pal and lap,
Or pan and nap,
Or par and rap,
Or pat and tap...
Each pair a semordnilap.
 
© 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.
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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Wacky Word Wednesday - Bafflegab

Bafflegab
(baf uhl gab)

by Rachel Hoyt

image by bplanet via freedigitalphotos.net

Bafflegab, to me,
Is the gibbly gobbly gwee,
Spoken eloquently,
Proclaimed officially,
By those who represent me,
Politically -
Their bafflegab flows free.
 
© 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.
 
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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Wacky Word Wednesday - Kludge

Kludge
(Klooj)
 
by Rachel Hoyt
 
Image by Idea Go via freedigitalphotos.net
 
 
With a kludge, you lose.
If you snooze,
Or you choose
To confuse
A fix with a ruse
And believe in a kludge,
Then you'll lose.
 
© 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Thursday Thoughts - On Christmas Cheer

I Saw Cheer
by Rachel Hoyt
 
 
 
Decorations sparkling bright
on a brisk, hiemal night -
A bear sitting hillside although
quite soon it would begin to snow -
A rose garden covered with pine
laid out neatly in a line -
Brought the Christmas spirit to
my heart, my mind, and my soul too.
 
Dogs that ski and chase snowballs -
Shopping craft markets, shunning malls -
Snowflakes sticking to each eyelash -
Strolling along, no need to dash -
Drinking Gluhwein (German mulled wine)
in a city quite far from mine -
I felt Santa within my soul
and in the view - snow covered knoll.
 
When I got home I realized that
Santa is where you see him at:
A group of elves gath'ring for lunch,
A bowl of hot rum party punch,
A Gingerbread Latte to go,
Palm Trees that glisten with fake snow,
no myth - and belief that it glows.
 
© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.
 
 
This rhyme was inspired by my recent vacation
and reindeer news via BoingBong - Christmasy education.
 
Technorati Tags: Creative, Judge, Sentencing, Rhyme, Poetry
Read more rhymes by Rachel at her column, Clickety -
poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Wacky Word Wednesday - Finnimbrun


Finnimbrun
by Rachel Hoyt
 
 
 
A hand wrapped finnimbrun
is a present some would shun
because it could 'fit' anyone
and was likely bought 'under the gun',
hoping the sentiment would weigh a ton
and shroud a trinket with glamour and fun,
make you the envy of everyone,
for wisely gifting knick-knacks, finnimbrun.
 
© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Wacky Word Wednesday - Esthesia

Esthesia
by Rachel Hoyt

 
is the opposite of anaesthesia -
it's the ability to feel the
pleasures that please ya
and pains that seize ya -

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

 
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Thursday, November 1, 2012

Thursday Thoughts - Sweden Wants to Buy Your Trash

Recycling the Reign
by Rachel Hoyt
 
image by hinnamsaisuy via freedigitalphotos.net
 

Poor Mafia. Now Sweden is "the boss" -
The new lion in the trash tree of life,
Gobbling garbage, brewing energy sauce.

In a land where recycling is too rife
They use trash to provide a basic need,
Now the lack of trash is their only strife.
 
On others' overabundance they feed,
Assisting others but mostly themselves,
Though they agree the time will come to cede.
 
Still, who's to say that a man with good elves
Could not put a stop to their genius plan?
(Someone with very few books on their shelves.)
 
The Swede rising shows what you think, you can -
When ideas are on fire, put them near a fan.
 
© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved


This terza rima poem was inspired by the news that Sweden
is importing trash to burn to warm their people's dens.

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Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -
poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Sunday Fun Day - Sweat Mopping Limerick


Smells Like Olympic Spirit
by Rachel Hoyt

image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

A fellow was asked to explain
Why he'd made sweat mopping his game.
"I wanted to know
I was in the show
And smell the action, glory, and fame."
© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

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This poem was written for Mad Kane's Limerick-Off contest,
inspired by sweat mopping news, and written in jest.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Wacky Word Wednesday - Ubiety

Ubiety
by Rachel Hoyt


Ubiety seems like that philosophy,
"Wherever you go, there you'll be."
It means the quality of possessing locality.
Your "whereness" is your ubiety.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.


Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Thursday Thoughts - On Mark Zuckerberg and the Forbes Celebrity List

image by Master Isolated Images via freedigitalphotos.net



Your life, lately, sure seems to be filled with spark!
This week, in two big ways, you made your mark:
First your IPO traded at record breaking speed,
but somehow you didn't make the Forbes celebrity list
which Facebook "helps judge".  You must be pissed!

But your TV and radio appearances are way too few
and your failure to capitalize on your 'look' won't do.
I can't believe you let someone beat you to designing
the pinstripe suit-hoodie (a look you're defining).
Perhaps you should get to work on a cologne?
'Essence of Zuck' sounds like it'd be cool to own.

Maybe you're already working on another movie
to spread your life story, unbeknownst to me,
but if not perhaps your wife wants a reality show?
What is Patricia's life like?  The people want to know!
Or... if perhaps you both can sing fairly well,
a bit of holiday music would be the thing to sell.

Lastly, if you want to give a little bit back
I would suggest that you and Oprah get together
and put those addicts on a couch of fine leather.
OWN can make it a show so helping them will help you
and maybe then Oprah won't stay stuck at #2.

I hope you'll consider my thoughts for a little while
although, in your shoes, I have not walked a mile.

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt
of Rhyme Me a Smile

P.S.  Sorry to hear about that stockholder lawsuit thing.
Hope you didn't spend it all already on one ruby ring...



© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.


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Thursday, May 3, 2012

Thursday Thoughts - the FDA, GRAS and Meat Glue

image by piyato via freedigitalphotos.net

Fine folks of the FDA,

I've got a few things I need to say
Well, to be precise, they notified you
and you accepted their research as true
and enough to see what it would do
if you allowed Transglutaminase
to work it's magical ways
on processed meats and seafood
without really telling us.  (How rude.)

I'm sure it would have been rough to write
a press release that sounded just right...
"We generally accept it as safe for you to eat
pieces of glued together scrap-mignon meat."
... but hearing the truth would've been neat.
I've worked in restaurants and catering
doing the "serve people for tips" thing,
but have never, ever heard anything
about this way to make meat scraps cling.

Your food safety tactics there seem quite crazy.
Or perhaps it's that you're understaffed and/or lazy?
I feel like the FDA's purpose is hazy.
Aren't we the ones who you should protect?
This notification process you use seems derelict,
like the ones thoroughly checked are random picked
or chosen due to a food scare or outbreak,
saying that's a risk they can take
with this weird thing that they make.

I suppose I should be thanking you for helping wreck beef.
The issue now is avoiding strange GRAS listed food,
the thought of which brings out my super sour mood.
I've heard of, "The more you spend, the more you save!"
It's the motto that makes luxury bargain shoppers cave.
I hope yours isn't, "This looks fun to try out for a while."
Is that really the mark of your signature style?
Please ponder what the heck you've allowed in our food piles.

Thank you,

Rachel Hoyt
of Rhyme Me a Smile

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Wacky Word Wednesday - Japes

Japes
by Rachel Hoyt


Image by jiggoja via freedigitalphotos.net

I like to rhyme jolly japes,
Joke and laugh like a bunch of apes,
Jest about juggling green grapes,
And spread the word that jokes are japes.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard!



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I've linked this rhyme in at the Poetry Pantry.
Come on over if you wish to read more good poetry.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Thursday Thoughts: Sweethearting aka Employee Theft

Klepto-Perkers

Image by digitalart via freedigitalphotos.com

that proved a personal theory
I have about US workers -
they're a bunch of klepto-perkers -
they give so they can get
much to their bosses' regret
skimming from the profits
while having salary fits.

Scoopin' Sally gives ice cream
to make people think she's keen.
Mechanic Moe gives friends a deal
to friends who will give him a steal.
P.I. Pete will tail your spouse
for free fixes around the house.
Banking Betty waives harsh fees
to those who give her gifts that please.

They say that seventy percent
of US employees augment
their salaries as they see fit.
The new, "everybody's doing it"?
A way to survive the recession
and try to avoid depression?
We think that we don't cause a ruckus,
but, sweetheart, you're a pain in the tuchus.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt - All Rights Reserved.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Wacky Word Wednesday - Mickle

Image by Maggie Smith via freedigitalphotos.net

Mickle
Mickle rhymes with but is not like a pickle,
But could describe a big pile of nickles,
Or perhaps a gigantic pot of pickles,
Because a lot of something is called a mickle.

© 2012 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt


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Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.