My Top 5 BBQ Wishes

Image by Simon Howden via freedigitalphoto.net

I know on Memorial Day I should be thinking of the Vets,

but instead I'm focused on some silly BBQ regrets.

You may have guessed I like to posses wacky things

because I relish in the smiles their appearance brings.

Here are five pieces of flare that I wish someone would buy me.

They would really liven up any Memorial Day party.

(5)  An inflatable entertainment center would be fun,

especially if it was a float-it-in-your-pool-type one.

I like the excitement of using electronics near water.

It's safety like that that makes a dad proud of his daughter.

(4)  This 24-carat gold plated barbecue

might appear higher on the top five list for you,

but I think it would be hard to protect and maintain.

Plus, on the wacky scale, it's really rather plain.

(3)  The BBQ Sword is funny and fairly well known.

I heard of them and promptly wanted one of my own.

I think having one would make me a bit cooler,

plus when my sister comes over I can properly duel her.

(2)  The Cthulhu Roaster might be scary looking to some...

but I find those shocked and blank stares silly fun.

I don't even really like to eat hot dogs myself,

but I'd cook them fairly often if I had this on my shelf.

(1)  The item I most covet is a watermelon stroller

which would keep cool utilizing power that's solar.

I'd wheel my vodka snacks into parties in style

giving everyone something funny to talk about for a while.

Whatever you do today, I hope your Memorial Day is fun.

There's a million ways besides the above to make today a great one!

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

 

This rhyme is being shared in the Poetry Potluck and Poetry Pantry.

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Technorati Tags: Entertainment, Blogging, Writing, Humor, Memorial Day, Poetry

Whoville Spirit

           Image by Simon Howden.  Used by permission of freedigitalphotos.net.

Recently a thought wandered onto my mind's windowsill.
What ever happened to the cheerful citizens of Whoville?
They're famous worldwide for outsmarting The Grinch.
They make feeling Christmas cheer seem like it's a cinch.
I wonder if the Whovillians have spread out among us?
Or are they singing carols as a choir on a traveling bus?
Wherever they are, we need their help un-grinching us.

Somewhere, sometime, someone loved that mean old Grinch.
They too wished the thought of Christmas would make people flinch.
No one should feel inspired to power their lights with an electric eel.
Presents, or lack thereof, should be able to produce the right feel...
as long as you're convinced you must have some unobtainable deal.

I imagine he first sought to make the most desired children's toy.
Thinking that through their popularity he'd control Christmas joy.
Perhaps he invented one of the first board games?
Or maybe the yo-yo or remote control airplanes?
Silly putty, his invention it probably was not.
Tonka Trucks I bet he liked a whole lot.

He probably never got his own story until now,
because he triumphed before that first crash of the Dow.
After that, like-minded grinchsters abounded.
Shortly thereafter, consumer America was founded.
Whovillians were possibly the only ones astounded.

Everyone else seemed happier to fight a stranger for the new My Little Pony,
than to make decorative trim for the Christmas tree with tricolor macaroni.
Suddenly gone was the spirit needed to make a Fenway Park gingerbread house.
No desire remained for paper snowflakes of Darth Vader or Mickey Mouse.

Year after year, this new attitude has flourished.
Despite constantly feeling consumer malnourished.
Oh how much fun this Christmas would be,
if all over America the Whoville spirit we could see.
So please shop online if you can't behave in public.
Buy prank gift boxes for the holidays if you're comedy cultic.
If you don't enjoy crowds, get a cabin somewhere rustic.

We must not let the Grinch loving people take over.
We must do more than wish on a four leaf clover.
No matter what holiday you celebrate this time of year.
I hope your themed decorations are shining loud and clear.
Try not to let present giving interfere with family time.
Remember the grinch is winning every time you whine.
Let your heart and the Whoville spirit intertwine.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

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Entertainment, Blogs, Comedy, Funny, Opinion, Writing, Christmas

This poem is being shared via One Shot Wednesdays and the Poetry Potluck.  Visit One Shot Poetry and Jingle Poetry to read posts by other authors or share writing of your own.

I've also enetered this in week 35 of the Thursday poets rally.