Thursday Thoughts - Phantom Vibrations

Vibeadonna Syndrome

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by chawalitpix via freedigitalphotos.net

 

Last night, I felt a phantom vibe,

Tingle my leg, tickle my hide.

It buzzed right through me all night long -

Buzz, buzz - a tweet? text? email? WRONG!

All night long, phantom vibes like gongs:

What if Susie tweeted 'bout a party?

What if Lucy's 'liking' ev'ry post by Benji?

What if Hailey Hollywood fumbled again?

What if I miss pictures of cats sexy men?

What if my friends start to think I am boring?

What if I lose part of my following?

What if I need to change my profile picture?

What if words were blabbed that deserve my stricture?

What if this phantom vibe causes a twitch?

What if it also starts to make me itch?

What if the vibes become phantom thoughts?

What if I acted on whatifs and whatnots?

What if I put my cell phone down on the shelf?

What if I try being happy, all by myself?

I believed those last wise whatifs,

And briefly felt their peaceful bliss,

'Til Tammy came to say that Shelly and Shelby,

Were breaking up on Twitter! That I had to see.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved

 

 

Inspired by Shel Silverstein's poem, "Whatif",

an article on phantom vibrations,

and this article on the neurological benefits of talking about oneself.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Cell, Phone, Vibrate, Rhyme, Poetry

 

 

 

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.

Thursday Thoughts - Apple, Tim Cook and @FridgeToaster

image by Bill Longshaw via freedigitalphotos.net

Hey there Mr. Cook,

I saw what you said and, look,

@FridgeToaster is my friend

and your comment seemed intended to offend.

Who would want that combo, you say?

Probably quite a few people would pay

for that handy two-in-one appliance,

maybe partially in defiance,

but also because none of us made as much money

as Apple did last quarter, honey,

and our smart phones and iPads got us thinking

that one way to avoid further financial sinking

is to buy things that bring more than one type of joy

like those gadgets that are phone, camera, computer and toy.

A retro VacuumLamp would look cool and save space

near the FridgeToaster I imagine in my place.
I just thought I'd mention it in case you realize

your product helped spur these thoughts you seem to despise.
Were you just being an imitation hater?
Will you reveal FridgeToaster plans later?
Or perhaps an even more awesome duo?
I know you'll always tell me your product is more awesome.
The question is will I see it as a thought blossom?

I had planned to purchase an Apple product soon
but haven't appreciated being treated like a loon
for being content with my PC in the mean time
although it has supported my creative side just fine.

Enjoy swimming in denial and your big money pile!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt
of Rhyme Me a Smile

Thursday Thoughts: Valentine's Day is Just Days Away

A Purrfect Valentine's Day

I've been single for many a Valentine's Day

and still find it a hard time to know what to say

when the question starts to echo in my brain,

that horrible one that can drive a gal insane,

"Why aren't you dating anyone?

What happened with that last one?"

This incessant brain chatter inevitably leads

to a see if anything online could fulfill my needs.

I'm told the options are constantly expanding

to keep up with what the public is demanding.

I peeked early this year at what's new and exciting,

but didn't really find anything intriguing or inviting.

I tried to learn new pick up lines through my phone,

in case I see any handsome foreign men all alone,

but learning to say "I like you" in four languages,

is proving harder than driving while making sandwiches.

I can do Spanish because I learned it years ago,

but learning a third, fourth and fifth?  I don't know.

I found one truly fascinating new "dating" website

which I bet lots of Icelanders are searching tonight

to make sure that cute girl or guy they just met

isn't a familial relation that could cause regret.

(The same families have bred on that island for years.

This digital genealogy tree should help prevent our fears.)

Yet, my favorite thing I learned wasn't really about dating.

In fact, it could in a way prevent some future mating.

You see, I learned my cat's purr has super healing power,

and since she likes to cuddle with me hour after hour,

I'm now not quite so sad to spend V-Day with her,

because who hasn't once wished their Valentine could purr!

© 2012 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Technorati Tags: Valentine, Dating, Rhyme, Humor, News, Poetry

Techno Brains

Image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

I remember my mom's first Palm Pilot.

We all joked that she'd bought

a better brain; coherent thought.

Now our "brains" are bigger and faster.

The cell phone has become our master.

We rely on it to save us from disaster.

Talking while walking, you can't look before

crossing the street - is danger in store?

A phone app can alert you to that which you ignore.

You also don't need a detective

to determine if your spouse defected.

Find my phone app = location detected.

Never worry about drunk dialing again.

Let the Designated Dialer decide when

your hands are too shaky to call a "friend".

And when teens and technology start driving you nuts,

and you need a phone app's help (and have guts),

get the Annoy a Teen app!  It's fun - no ifs, ands, or buts!

Never again waste time thinking independently!

If there's no app yet, there'll be one eventually.

Techno brains will rule some day... inevitably!

© 2011 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

 

Technorati Tags: Technology, Phone, Brain, Humor, Sarcasm, Poetry