I called upon the Ghost of Christmas Past to guide me
through the list of blog gifts I'd written down beside me
because sometimes you need a set of fresh eyes to spot
the message in front of you which currently you're not.
My first gift was a Hatian love potion recipe that made me say "Ewwww"
and a sinister revenge story where the bad man becomes beefy stew.
The Ghost told me some people have a gross way of showing love,
but the question is, does it fit the recipient's needs like a glove?
My second gift was a friend selected, singing sea turtle video -
the famous Crush from Finding Nemo on some unknown show.
The Ghost said that this showed that the friend knew me,
and knew how to make me smile without spending a penny.
The third gift was a story of gifts we've hidden and/or forget...
Wait. Let me get this straight. You have present's unopened yet?
The Ghost said some presents mean more while wrapped pretty.
It's the mere existence of the present that fills some with glee.
The fourth gift was a tale of purchasing presents with a plan,
planning in advance and preempting death, when you can.
The Ghost said that it's good to always think and buy for others...
and he hopes the sentiment didn't die with our grandmothers.
The fifth gift reminded me that I have the daily "gift" of solitude.
Those who say the single gal is lucky aren't trying to be rude.
The snoring sounds from the Ghost told me he was one of them.
I bet even he wishes for a night of rest now and then.
The sixth gift was the idea of giving NO gifts on "Jesus' Birthday" -
Alienating others while pleasing God the old fashioned way.
The Ghost had awoken from his nap and chimed in,
"The line between moral and moron is quite thin."
The seventh gift was the near and dear opposite of number six -
having a wealth of "make strangers happy and spread love" tricks.
The Ghost agreed this most neglected but wonderful gift of cheer
is the one we should try to nurture more and more each year.
The eighth gift was a reminder of the corruption of gifting -
the greed of Black Friday zombie-ism into Thursday is drifting.
The Ghost said not to worry, evil like this will always be around,
and in hell, scenes of consumer desparation abound.
The ninth gift mentioned an interoffice, Secret Santa gift exchange -
a scenario which often turns out memorable, funny or strange.
The Ghost told me these are your chance to throw a curve ball.
The gift that causes a group laugh is the most valuable of all.
The tenth gift was the reminder that people will surprise you,
and when you take their wit for granted it's easy to do.
The Ghost laughed and said, "So, have you figured it all out?
The surprise sociological knowledge is your true present, no doubt."
He vanished through the wall before I could voice my response,
but I think that he listened from afar, despite his nonchalance.
"When gifting you should think with your heart, not your head,
and ponder how the memory will be recalled when you're dead."
© 2012 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt
