This Unusual Suggestion Just Might Save the World

Shrinklution

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by Danilo Rizzuti via freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

We can save the Earth!

It's really quite easy.

All things will gain worth.

The air won't smell sleazy.

Each meal will seem bigger.

We'll all drive toy cars.

It won't take much rigor.

We won't move to Mars.

Everything would be

much bigger and better

if they shrunk you and me

like a poorly laundered wool sweater.

 

Copyright © 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

 

 

One Dutch artist has a near foolproof plan...

If we want to save Earth, we must shrink the man!

 

 

Technorati Tags: Shrink, Earth, Poem, Rhyme, Save, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - On Bitcoins

Bitman's Tree

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by idea go via freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

For generations, Bitman males

Had dreamt of growing cash -

Great great grandpa wrote down his fails

And how his pa was rash

To think that planting a few coins

Could sprout unbridled wealth -

(He tested ways to nurture loins

And what brings money health.)

He never did make money trees

Or his son after him,

But little Billy Bitman, (geez!)

His vision was less slim -

"Bits of data around the world

Are like rare gems," he thought.

Soon a new type of coin unfurled,

Not seen, but often bought -

It floated around time and space

With more, then less, value,

No one could see the tree's home base,

But still his dream came true -

A calculation burst a seed

And people bought its leaves,

Fertilized with secrets and greed,

It grew cash one perceives.

 

© 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

 

 

Bitcoins (to some) are the latest, greatest thing,

but I believe its an imaginary value they bring.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Bitcoin, Currency, Cash, Poem, Rhyme, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - Oh Canada, Where's the Syrup?

 

image by Paul via freedigitalphotos.net

 

Farewell Maple Syrup, my sweet friend!

On your dulcet joy, I once did depend,

But Canada's stockpile will need to mend,

Because thieves heisted lots of liquid gold -

$30 million worth is what I'm told.

I want to help make sure that kids,

Don't have to fuss or flip their lids,

Because their mom could not afford,

Liquid gold which they knew not to hoard.

Careless Canada should not feel bad.

I was planning to diet. I am not mad.

I won't be having waffles or pancakes,

Nor dripping syrup on my oatmeal or cornflakes.

I will not need sauce for any french toast.

I can skip drizzling gold on top of my pork roast.

I feel for my 'neighbors', high up north. I know,

These mishaps are the way 'things' sometimes show.

I will let you get going - syrup stealers to snare.

Coping with this type of market must be tough to bear.

Perhaps it is now sold as 'homemade'? (It happens.)

For what it's worth, I feel your pain and so do sales of napkins.

Watch out for guys named Rosco and those with Hamburglar style!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

 

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Mitt Romney, Taxes, Avoid, Rhyme, Poetry

 

 

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Thursday Thoughts - Vending Machines and Robot Domination

Dear vending machine inventors and clever ad agencies,

Think about what you are doing to the world with your work, please.

It seems the new trend is to engage the customer with the machine,

but exploiting love for junk food at this level seems plain mean.

There's the one in Singapore that gives out a free Coke for a hug,

or the traveling machine that spits out free chips when you cut the rug,

or the beer granting, coin eating, rugby tackle requiring box -

three machines which treat humanity like we're all dumb as rocks.

While there are the many who live life happily ignorant

of the psychological effects for which such advertising is meant,

I, for one, know that you will benefit long after that day

when the long hidden happy memories come into play.

When feeling blue, they may look back upon the joy

they found interacting with your junk food dispensing toy

and reach for that same snack to help soothe their pain

only to experience undesired weight gain.

I know what you'll say. "Watch the videos.  They love it!"

I am familiar with your tactic, but wish you were above it.

At the very least could you post some nutritional info?

The calories burned while earning the treat could also show?

You stand to gain much by getting the people to play your game,

so spread honest facts now before you are the ones they blame

for their vast lack of happiness and plethora of fat cells -

the obvious result of your machine's powerful spells.

May your robots be kind and spread joy in style!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


Technorati Tags: Junk Food, Vending, Robot, Marketing, Poetry


Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -
poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.

Thursday Thoughts - Foie Gras, California and Food Bans

Dear Foie Gras lovers of California,

You've probably heard, but I thought I'd warn ya,

that duck lovers (like me) have gotten their way.

Foie Gras isn't legal now, or so they say.

The law is ambiguous (such a surprise)

and restaurant enforcement mostly involves angry eyes,

but it was enough to shut down one ducky farm

where the owner claims that he does his ducks no harm.

His boast made me imagine a dream like place

where ducks got drunk and stuffed their face,

then lounged around or enjoyed a float

on a pond which never saw the likes of a boat.

I imagined corn cakes deep fried in lard

which the ducks tasted timidly, then fell for hard.

Once they had washed down that corn cake with a beer,

they knew the new tastes American ducks held dear.

Sadly, the gluttonous gorge fest I dreamt of for the ducks

wasn't the reality any farmer had created with his bucks.

You say that the science is lacking to prove the practice cruel?

Does that mean you approve of the method for which they made the rule?

I've never eaten Foie Gras and won't consider it unless you

can say the ducks in question were happy and prove it true.

Since my rational self knows the overindulged are never truly happy,

good luck proving to me that purposely fattened ducks found real glee!

May your livers stay lean and food choices gain style!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


Technorati Tags: Duck, Foie Gras, Food, Ban, Poetry


Does getting cards in the mail make you smile?
Why not get one from me once in a while?

The Blog Gifts of Christmas Past

Image by chrisroll via freedigitalphotos.net

I called upon the Ghost of Christmas Past to guide me

through the list of blog gifts I'd written down beside me

because sometimes you need a set of fresh eyes to spot

the message in front of you which currently you're not.

My first gift was a Hatian love potion recipe that made me say "Ewwww"

and a sinister revenge story where the bad man becomes beefy stew.

The Ghost told me some people have a gross way of showing love,

but the question is, does it fit the recipient's needs like a glove?

My second gift was a friend selected, singing sea turtle video -

the famous Crush from Finding Nemo on some unknown show.

The Ghost said that this showed that the friend knew me,

and knew how to make me smile without spending a penny.

The third gift was a story of gifts we've hidden and/or forget...

Wait.  Let me get this straight.  You have present's unopened yet?

The Ghost said some presents mean more while wrapped pretty.

It's the mere existence of the present that fills some with glee.

The fourth gift was a tale of purchasing presents with a plan,

planning in advance and preempting death, when you can.

The Ghost said that it's good to always think and buy for others...

and he hopes the sentiment didn't die with our grandmothers.

The fifth gift reminded me that I have the daily "gift" of solitude.

Those who say the single gal is lucky aren't trying to be rude.

The snoring sounds from the Ghost told me he was one of them.

I bet even he wishes for a night of rest now and then.

The sixth gift was the idea of giving NO gifts on "Jesus' Birthday" -

Alienating others while pleasing God the old fashioned way.

The Ghost had awoken from his nap and chimed in,

"The line between moral and moron is quite thin."

The seventh gift was the near and dear opposite of number six -

having a wealth of "make strangers happy and spread love" tricks.

The Ghost agreed this most neglected but wonderful gift of cheer

is the one we should try to nurture more and more each year.

The eighth gift was a reminder of the corruption of gifting -

the greed of Black Friday zombie-ism into Thursday is drifting.

The Ghost said not to worry, evil like this will always be around,

and in hell, scenes of consumer desparation abound.

The ninth gift mentioned an interoffice, Secret Santa gift exchange -

a scenario which often turns out memorable, funny or strange.

The Ghost told me these are your chance to throw a curve ball.

The gift that causes a group laugh is the most valuable of all.

The tenth gift was the reminder that people will surprise you,

and when you take their wit for granted it's easy to do.

The Ghost laughed and said, "So, have you figured it all out?

The surprise sociological knowledge is your true present, no doubt."

He vanished through the wall before I could voice my response,

but I think that he listened from afar, despite his nonchalance.

"When gifting you should think with your heart, not your head,

and ponder how the memory will be recalled when you're dead."

© 2012 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Technorati Tags: Gift, Story, Rhyme, Humor, News, Poetry


If you want a link to your blog to appear in a rhyme,
try out the next study... it's a rhyming good time!