Thursday Thoughts - Ostriches Are The Other Red Meat

Ostracized Meat

by Rachel Hoyt

Oh ostrich, don't hate me,

but I've had an itch lately

for your feathers and leathers,

but my tastebuds won't teather

that with love for your meat -

lean red meat I won't eat!

Yet ostrich, I'm sorry,

to decorate Safari

I will need your plumes and hide,

Though I desire to sustainably abide...

And I bet if you were truthful,

you would wish to feel more useful.

Oh ostrich, I wish,

you were the main dish,

on some scoundrel's plate

so I could blame your fate

on carnivore's taste

and the need to not waste.

Ostrich, can't you see

the Klein Karoo Kooperasie

unintentionally freed

you from tastebud greed

with onomotopea...

Yet are you thankful we don't eat ya?

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved

 

 

 

Not poultry or game but currently classified the same,

I wonder if we will ever prefer ostrich to turkey?

I think I would rather give up feathers and leathers

than eat the gorgeous birds for whom I wrote these silly words.
 

 

Technorati Tags: Ostrich, Meat, Leather, Rhyme, Poetry

 

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Friday Photo Fun - Something Special

Something Special

by Rachel Hoyt

Recently discovered to be more closely related

to birds than previously shown through fossils we've dated.

Once used to make guitar picks,

Now, for other reasons, is hunted by hicks.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Friday Photo Fun is when I share a randomly captured moment,
or perhaps a photo experiment with more purposeful intent,
then pair it with a rhyming riddle to exercise your mind
and teach you more weird facts to which you once were blind.

After the answer is guessed, I will post a second, non-abstract photo,

and just in case you wanted to know,
the first is not a photoshopped version of the second -
they're shot using different techniques that to me beckon.

Wanda should not be sorry for knowing me well
and getting here early to guess correctly: turtle shell.

Technorati Tags: Game, Abstract Photo, Rhyme, Humor, Guess, Poetry

Sunday Fun Day - Rock Eating Limerick

Rockin' Taste

by Rachel Hoyt

A woman who tried to persuade
her taste buds not to feel betrayed,
said, "Rocks taste earthy 

and crispy crunchy.
They're the best free snack nature made!"

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme was written for Mad-Kane's Limerick-Off,

where the humor will make you giggle and snicker, not scoff,

and inspired by the news linked to above and right here

about a woman who eats whatever rocks lie near.

Technorati Tags: Rocks, Eating, News, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts: Super Bowl Sunday

Tips for Super Bowl Dipsticks

Image by Idea Go via freedigitalphotos.net

This rhyme is dedicated to those new to Super Bowl Sunday.

I'm here to help make sure that you have a fun day.

So I did a bit of research and read some statistics

and came up with these tips for Super Bowl dipsticks.

If you're wondering, at these parties, what people like to eat,

it seems chicken wings, guacamole and chips can't be beat.

Just the guac consumed would spread twelve feet thick on the field.

(With chips and wings, how many full stadiums would that yield?)

If you're told that guests should bring something to drink,

remember people are much more predictable than you think.

Americans drink enough beer that day to fill 493 Olympic pools!

Those who bring non-beer to parties risk being called fools.

If you'd rather be the gal with the perfect parting gift

and can find a good deal on antacid super swift,

use that to help friends avoid the 20% post game sales surge

and fight the "I don't feel like going to work on Monday" urge.

You probably shouldn't speak of the bowl's carbon footprint,

but if, perhaps, you chose to rebel and drop a big fat hint...

310,000 tons of emissions are generated by Super Bowl Sunday.

That's actually enough to make most Americans feel bad, OK?

So, don't be a dipstick.  Bring or make guac, wings and beer.

Enjoy watching the game (and commercials) with those you hold dear.

Stock up on medicine you may need to recover from the party.

And, most importantly, try not to arrive tardy and make sure to root hardy!

© 2012 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Technorati Tags: Super Bowl, Stastistics, Rhyme, Humor, News, Poetry

Reach for the Sublime

It's hard to believe NASA's final flight is in orbit

without starting to feel at least a teeny bit morbid.

Of course, the end of any era means the start of a new one

and perhaps future exploration will be even more fun!

Sure, no one else will ever be the first to pee in space

but perhaps someone will build a space vacation place.

Hopefully we will never again get lost on the moon

and someday they'll turn Al and Ed's story into a cartoon.

If ever again an incident involves spacecraft and lightning,

I hope it's a Back to the Future thing and not something frightening.

Though NASA's desire to power up solar didn't work at first,

perhaps they just needed to channel a lightning burst?

The technology we've been using is over thirty years old.

I'm glad we're taking the step to do something more bold.

Though it's fun to reminisce on everything we've seen and done.

Weird creatures shouldn't be the only ones to join the in-flight fun.

If we want ordinary people to someday have the opportunity

to experience the things that now only astronauts get to see,

we will need a vessel at least as modern as a cell phone,

not one from the time when shuttles symbolized "on roam".

It seems only fitting we would share spacecraft for a while,

with the country that helped invent out-of-this-world-style.

Previously a competitor, now our partner in crime.

Together we must now reach toward the sublime.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Entertainment, Blogging, NASA, Humor, Space, Writing

Pranksters

     Image by Danilo Rizzuti via freedigitalphoto.net

Another April Fool's Day is nearly here.
Will your friends endure a prank this year?
I think any holiday that's hundreds of years old
should have a few celebrants that do it up bold.
Of course, due to the yin yang of personal taste,
some don't appreciate humor being prank based.
I think litigation squashed most of the foolish fun
but wish more of the rich would try for a big one.

A read through the top one hundred hoaxes of all time,
shows that the best ones definitely aren't dreamed up on a dime.
The island The Guardian staff invented in 1977, San Serriffe,
must've taken many months to plan so cleverly and complete.
Though less was required for the 1957 Swiss Spaghetti Harvest,
these "news" stories still represent pure pranking at its best.
It's sad that these days people would most likely sue you,
otherwise, instead of this, I'd write a fake news story too!

I used to wonder why people got so upset about pranks,
but now know a few pranksters who may deserve spanks.
The first is Porky Bickar, who thought he should throw tires
into a volcano, scaring locals with non smoke and mirror pyres.
I also think it's mean to offer people a phony bargain deal.
Even I would have to call to learn if the deal was fake or real.
But by far the least funny I've heard of was from World War I,
when the French thought dropping a football bomb would be fun.

Laughing it off gets harder when pranksters prey on primal fears.
Most agree that only evil people laugh when creating others' tears.
So if you prank this year, try to make it a happy smiley one.
I can't wait to see what's next from the famous Richard Branson.
I hope more companies make fake ads with the truth in fine print
and that reporters again test the public's intelligence for a stint.
I say that as long as it's a witty test of intuition or observation
it's fair game for any prankster's April Fool's Day celebration.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011. All rights reserved.

This rhyme is being shared via One Shot Poetry,
who, incidently, just won an award... a Shorty!

Technorati Tags:
Entertainment, Blogging, Fail, Humor, April Fools, Writing

St. Brigit Limerick

by Rachel Hoyt


               Image by luigi diamanti via freedigitalphoto.net

St. Brigit, the Queen of Heaven, knew dear old St. Patrick.
They say she birthed, married and murdered him like a hat trick.
How could she possibly do all three?
Just what is her place in history?
She sounds like neither a kind Celtic Saint nor a Catholic.

© Rachel Hoyt.  2011 All rights reserved.

Click here to read yesterday's limerick about St. Patrick.

Click here to read the next limerick in the series - Leprochaun Limerick.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss said, "Don't cry because it's over.  Smile because it happened."
So that's what I vow to do on this, his birthday, March 2nd.
I know his writing well, but haven't previously studied his personal life.
And, not knowing Seuss fun facts was beginning to cause me mental strife.

I was recently nearby but unaware La Jolla was once his home base.
Seeing where he stored his thinking caps would've put a smile on my face.
Learning he participated in a Prohibition party made me giggle and grin.
As a result, he was kicked off the school paper and thus birthed his pseudonym.

Would you imagine a different college experience for a brewmaster's son?
Did you know he wrote a book using only 50 words on a bet for fun?
One of his works contains the first recorded instance of one beloved word: nerd.
Yertle mimicked Hitler, but the burp bothered the publishers more, I heard.

Like another favorite of mine, Homer Simpson, Dr. Seuss was from Springfield.
Perhaps it was this Seuss Simpson city kinship which made Homer cooler than Garfield.
Who wouldn't want to have something in common with the great Theodor S. Geisel?
I hope and dream that my rhymes will some day spread like his did; go viral.

So... Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!  I hope you can see all the smiles you left behind.
You've inspired many dreams for me.  Endless rhyme subjects I seem to find.
I promise to do my best to make sure your stories live on forever and ever.
If you could possibly talk to me in my dreams, I'd be open to that whenever.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

If you'd like your links to appear within a rhyme,
participate in a Smiley Sociology Study sometime.



Technorati Tags:
Entertainment, Blogging, Humor, Study, Writing