Thursday Thoughts - Mitt Romney's Taxes

image by digitalart via freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

Dear Mitt, King of Tax Evasion,

 

Could you help a gal find a better equation

for lowered middle income tax calculation?

I've got many creative business plans

way better than collecting aluminum cans.

 

Could I get the name of your money man?

Of his abilities, I am a big fan.

I make enough to get taxed quite high.

Perhaps he could help me figure out why.

 

If my boss sent our paychecks through

an offshore fund we invested in with you,

do you think that we could avoid

those deductions that leave us annoyed?

 

(If you promise to have my back

when other citizens say I'm whack

for still expecting Social Security,

then I will consider voting for thee.)

 

I also have side jobs and work as a writer...

Is there a way that income could be taxed a bit lighter?

If I get paid in gold coins, will anyone know?

What do you do with yours so that they don't show?

 

I would really appreciate any help you can give.

I'm just a creative scrapper trying to live.

I write, make candles, work weddings and

have a full time job in this fine, free land.

 

I deserve to keep most of my income, like you.

I won't start my next venture until you tell me what to do.

Perhaps you have a special fund that I could 'work for'?

I await your ideas and more. Sorry if this letter was a bore.

 

May taxation remain crooked until I build my pile!

 

Hopefully yours,

 

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

 

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Mitt Romney, Taxes, Avoid, Rhyme, Poetry

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Wacky Word Wednesday - Jactation

Jactation
by Rachel Hoyt

image by photostock via freedigitalphotos.net

A fanfaron is known for jactation.

Whether at home, work, or on vacation,

he or she boasts without pause or hesitation.

That's why fanfaron's are known for jactation.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

 

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Jactation, Poetry

Tuesday Tickler - Loonie Love Limerick

Loonie Love Limerick

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by razvan ionut via freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

A woman was peeved at her mate

for not taking her on a date.

Her love was the sky.

She wanted to fly,

but he said, "Ms. Balloon, you're my fate."

 

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Game, Abstract Photo, Rhyme, Humor, Guess, Poetry

This poem was written for Mad Kane's Limerick-Off contest,

where there are so many laughs, it's hard to be the best.

 

 

P.S.  A loonie's a person who loves balloons.

You can see more here. (No, it is not cartoons.)

Friday Fun Day - Unexpected Smiles

Small Pleasures

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by pakorn via freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

Sometimes a cute little note

that someone you don't know wrote

on a tip jar or random receipt

that is worded wittily neat

can brighten your day

in the most special way

because it is most unexpected

when small pleasures aren't neglected.

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Drugs, DEA, Doctor, Rhyme, Poetry

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.
 

Thursday Thoughts - The D.E.A. had TOO MUCH Evidence?

Dear U.S. D.E.A.,

This calls for a, "What the hey?!"

There wasn't another way?

Since Dr. Angelo has run away,

things are fine so long as he stays?

And, why would he want to return?

Others wait to take all that he earned,

addicts have prescriptions for which they yearn,

and the doctor has time and money to burn.

 

You really couldn't afford to buy a hard drive

to store the evidence that would keep the case alive?

Are you sure no one tried to connive

you into ceasing your desire to strive?

 

Don't tell me that you did not know

server size had done the opposite of grow.

Did you think space wasn't a stone's throw

away from your shodden big toe?

 

Did the dudes who make the drugs

bribe you like a bunch of thugs?

I can almost see their smug mugs

as you swept justice under the rug...

 

May your cases stay manageable and feel worthwile!

 

Sincerely,

 

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

 

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Drugs, DEA, Doctor, Rhyme, Poetry

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.

Wacky Word Wednesday - Fanfaron

Fanfaron

by Rachel Hoyt

image by graur codrin via freedigitalphotos.net

A fanfaron

isn't a fan baron,

nor a fan of Aaron,

or a baby heron.

But a boaster named Aaron,

and a bragging baron,

could both be called fanfarons.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Traduce, Poetry

 

Thursday Thoughts - Wall Street Conspiracy Theory

image by worradmu via freedigitalphotos.net

Dear Knight Capital Group and Auto-Traders,

What compels you to be new technology crusaders?

Did you not think there would be glitches and invaders?

Your investment strategies of late remind me

of the scam detailed in the Office Space movie.

Are you trying to revive Peter's "Pennies for everyone!" motto?

Was this the 'million dollar idea' you decided to give a go?

Are you really as gullible as Peter, Michael and Samir?

Think the market won't feel those pennies disappear?

High frequency trading may not quite be stealing,

but it's the type of takesy backsy which sends me reeling.

Perhaps Knight was the victim of a Milton type guy -

shy but less crazy, or more modern and sly?

If the building burns down, then you will know,

you definitely had a Milton type in your "show",

but if not then it could be Pete, Mike and Sam,

working together on a new complex scam.

Already proficient with your sham's scheme,

I think they'll always be one step closer to that dream.

All those who scam face their karma after a while.

Be careful who you beguile!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Stock, Wall Street, Trading, Rhyme, Poetry

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.

 

Wacky Word Wednesday - Cunctator

Cunctator

by Rachel Hoyt

image by healingdream via freedigitalphotos.net

A cunctator

is a procrastinator,

and also a hesitator.

Happier saving all for later

is the cunctator.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Traduce, Poetry

Sunday Fun Day - Sweat Mopping Limerick

Smells Like Olympic Spirit

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

A fellow was asked to explain
Why he'd made sweat mopping his game.
"I wanted to know
I was in the show
And smell the action, glory, and fame."

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Game, Abstract Photo, Rhyme, Humor, Guess, Poetry

This poem was written for Mad Kane's Limerick-Off contest,

inspired by sweat mopping news, and written in jest.

Friday Photo Fun - Something Draped

Something Draped

by Rachel Hoyt

A fabulous costume accessory,

that's been loved for many a century,

makes the experience more sensory,

and creates a fluffy, happy memory.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Game, Abstract Photo, Rhyme, Humor, Guess, Poetry

Friday Photo Fun is when I share a randomly captured moment,

or perhaps a photo experiment with more purposeful intent,
then pair it with a rhyming riddle to exercise your mind
and teach you more weird facts to which you once were blind.

After the answer is guessed, I will post a second, non-abstract photo...
and just in case you wanted to know,
the first is not a photoshopped version of the second -
they're shot using different techniques that to me beckon.

 Both Wanda and Andy easily knew
that Feather Boas were the item I abstractified for you.

I have decided to discontinue Friday Photo Fun.

For now, this will be the last and final one.

I hope you've enjoyed my rhyming riddle series!

Do come back for the wacky news... please?



Thursday Thoughts - Amtrak's Business Cents

Dear Amtrak and those with railroad riding style,

Who's to blame for the demise of the dining car?

Those $9 burgers really cost you sixteen?

And you don't make it up off the drinks at the bar?

Perhaps you should try serving better cuisine.

Those $9 burgers really cost you sixteen?

I've eaten much better off the local food truck.

Perhaps you should try serving better cuisine,

Or subcontract to save a buck?

I've eaten much better off the local food truck.

Are you allowed to cook on the train?

Subcontracting might help you save a buck.

I might buy some if the food was less plain.

Are you allowed to cook on the train?

I fear a future where no food's served at all.

I might buy some if the food was less plain.

I bought those drinks to stall your downfall.

I fear a future where no food's served at all.

It can't be good for the passengers' moods.

I bought those drinks to stall your downfall.

Perhaps you just need more passengers, dudes.

It can't be good for the passengers' moods.

We need munchies to pretend we're sane.

Perhaps you just need more passengers, dudes.

Improvement ideas must exist in your brain.

We need munchies to pretend we're sane.

Make your money off drinks at the bar!

Improvement ideas must exist in your brain.

Who's to blame for the demise of the dining car?!

May your ideas flow and cash form a big pile!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Train, Amtrak, Dining, Rhyme, Poetry

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.

Wacky Word Wednesday - Traduce

Traduce

by Rachel Hoyt

image by farconville via freedigitalphotos.net

I am not a fan of traducing.

It doesn't involve deducing

and, after it, your 'rep' will need sprucing,

because unkind words fly out when traducing.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Traduce, Poetry

Friday Photo Fun - Something Influential

Something Influential

by Rachel Hoyt

A habit of which I am not very proud

though it's one that is praised by American crowds.

On the one hand, it's an important part of my health,

on the other it's a symbol of wastefulness and wealth.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Game, Abstract Photo, Rhyme, Humor, Guess, Poetry

Friday Photo Fun is when I share a randomly captured moment,

or perhaps a photo experiment with more purposeful intent,
then pair it with a rhyming riddle to exercise your mind
and teach you more weird facts to which you once were blind.

After the answer is guessed, I will post a second, non-abstract photo...
and just in case you wanted to know,
the first is not a photoshopped version of the second -
they're shot using different techniques that to me beckon



It took more than a day, but Bryan figured out
that my use of plastic water bottles makes me want to pout.

Thursday Thoughts - The Bad in Badminton

image by J Fry via freedigitalphotos.net

Dear obsolete olympians of badminton,

I wish this note was handwritten

so you could see how NOT smitten

I am with the news that you tried to lose

(or at least set your effort level on cruise)

giving the bad in badminton new meaning,

causing the refs to do some 'house cleaning'.

I played varsity badminton years ago

and was sad to hear about this blow

to the already fragile reputation

the sport of badminton has in my nation.

Now it (sort of) is the lazy girl's tennis.

I preferred being known as a bad ass birdie menace.

Smashing birdies is not a joy that all know,

which is why all those people came to the show...

Either that, or they just want to say shuttlecock

without causing all ears around them a shock.

Why did you deprive them of reasons to cheer?

The fact you all got scolded makes me smile ear to ear.

May your respite remind you of true Olympian style!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


Technorati Tags: Badminton, Olympics, Sports, Rhyme, Poetry


Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -
poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.

Wacky Word Wednesday - Pleonasm

Pleonasm

by Rachel Hoyt

image by digitalart via freedigitalphotos.net

A pleonasm

is like a mouth orgasm,

a tip of the tongue spasm,

or redundant sarcasm -

pleonasm.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Augury, Poetry