Beating Belly Bulge

(Comic courtesy of Stuff No One Told Me.  Thank you, Alex.)

I doubt I'm the only one who struggles to find time to exercise,
or when choosing "healthy" food, tells herself a few white lies.
I've recently decided to call myself out on these self defeating habits,
and search instead for motivating stories and helpful gadgets.
My current habits still seem to make my belly bulge grow...
enough that some have mistaken it for early pregnancy glow.
Although only strangers have been dumb enough to ask,
their comments made beating belly bulge my #1 task.
I know it may not be possible to find all three things in one place,
but I need an easy diet, quick exercises and a motivating face.

I decided first to check my Google Reader for my info in demand,
and stumbled across a brown bear that does daily yoga in Finland.
She's just so cute! I hope she gets her own web cam.
I'd like to practice stretching my legs up as high as she can!
I'm sure a human teacher could instruct me just as well,
but learning yoga from a bear gives a funnier story to tell.
I wandered over to facebook to tell my friends about the yoga bear,
but got distracted by a video link a friend had posted there.
Think Before You Eat was the hilarious song parody I'd just found.
Anita Renfroe made me laugh so hard I think I lost half a pound!

Happy that I'd found a few healthy lifestyle promoters to admire,
I searched for diet and exercise tips to which I could aspire.
The need to avoid junk food was enforced by my first interesting find,
a photo journal on McDonald's hamburgers - so scary it blew my mind.
Could there possibly be undigested hamburger still inside me?
I can't tell you how many times I've eaten there... since I was three?!
Lately I've tried to adhere to the Abs Diet for the majority of meals,
but have allowed "comfort food splurges when stressed" type deals.
Those photos made me realize some indulgences really are worse,
so I made a note to self to keep more healthy snacks in my purse.

As I read on about caffeine content and renaming corn syrup,
I realized the many other small luxuries most naturalists call a slip up.
i.e. I should eat organic, but sometimes am too cheap to pay more.
Plus, for many years, pesticide free wasn't even sold at the store.
My head started to spin with food rules to add to my regimen,
and I started to get tempted to compromise them all again.
I'm just not sure I can live without alcohol, sweets and fried food,
because when stressful times hit they all sound soooooooo good!
I can tame that desire sometimes with healthy substitutes at home,
but need some outlet where my rebel taste buds can roam.

I almost admitted there's no easy way to be healthy,
then the results of a Texas study set my heart free.
They've proven that drinking heavy is better than not drinking at all!
Perhaps I can find a way to be strong and stand tall.
I think I can get myself to ride my bike to the store,
if I know I can come back home and drink more.
I'll have to burn enough calories to cover my wine & liquor,
but if I eat healthy otherwise I'll still loose weight quicker!
Suddenly I realize I've wasted today's free time pondering,
when (again) I could have been calorie burn wandering.

Perhaps my problem has less to do with the food that goes in,
than with my tendency to ponder too long before I begin.
Just today I could have gone walking for two hours,
but researched when I should have gone out to smell the flowers.
I could have burned off a whole bottle of wine,
if I'd just made a little better use of my time.
Next time I'll remind myself it's better not to think...
or at least do it while walking so I can end with a drink.
When it comes to beating belly bulge I've found the best way:
eat well, play hard, and drink a little every day!

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

This rhyme is being shared in Poetry Pantry #22.
Head there for more fun stuff to read and do.

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