Friday, April 29, 2011

Uniquer Discount Goings On

Image by digitalart via

Not long after I wrote a long poem on coupons,
I found out about some uniquer discount goings on.
It seems a Brooklyn maternity shop for lesbians
gives a discount to their like-minded girl friends.
Don't get me wrong, I actually think it's kinda cute.
The owner knows she's totally un-pc... oh shoot.
She says it's a perk of owning your own business.
I think that is awfully brave of her to confess.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme is being shared in Jingle's Poetry Potluck.
Please leave your links below to make it easier for me to read your entry.

My NaPoWriMo poem #30

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Prettier Parking Tickets

Image by TJ Lubrano of A Look in a Creative Mind

What would you think if your parking ticket contained a gift?
Does looking at pretty pictures cheer you up something swift?
I'm not sure it would fully reverse the irritation for me.
Yet, it's a pleasant surprise I would sure like to see.
Too bad it means I'd have to drive and park in New York.
That's less likely to happen than me starting to raise pork.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme is being shared in Poetry Potluck #36.
Come read some more stuff.  There's a good mix.
This rhyme is being shared in the Poetry Pantry.
Please leave a link to your entry here so I can come see.
My NaPoWriMo poem #29

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Ninja News

Image by Rob Wilshire via

This morning the news shocked me with their word.
First a duo of sword wielding ninjas robbed a gas station
taking cash, cigarettes and lotto tickets as their "donation".
Then another slashed 11 cars and tried to stab a man.
When confronted with a gun though, that ninja ran.

Yet another man who left his little boy alone at home
says his ex was sitting while he went out to jog and roam.
Furthermore, his ninja-like-get-up was no costume at all.
This was just a running outfit he picked up at the mall.
The cops are keeping the "non-ninja" for questioning.
I hope his capture brings the others to their reckoning.

I wouldn't want kids to start thinking ninjas are mainly bad.
I've always associated them with honor which made me glad.
Thankfully the "Ninja Watch" in England is doing their part
to show that many masked men and women are still pure of heart.
May the bad guys see you protecting your future King and Queen
and vow not to be like those who might cause a wedding scene.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo poem #28.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Royalty Obsessed

I've never been personally obsessed with royalty
but the news of William and Kate is all around me.
I'm (again) wondering what the heck is so fascinating?
Why exactly makes their life story so scintillating?

Is it merely that ladies all dream of having Cinderella's life?
Would the majority trade it all to become a Prince's wife?
Perhaps many merely desire friendship with the couple.
I wish all our socializing party skills were that supple!

I can see the locals being proud of their dynasty,
but I live in the land that rejected the monarchy.
We've got the Kennedys, Fords and the stars of Hollywood.
Perhaps we'd vote them kings and queens if we could.

Or is it the allure of all the glitz, glamor and bling?
Personally, I'd be nervous to wear Princess Di's ring.
Don't you think that beautiful thing might be cursed?
Oh well. I'm sure on it's history Kate is well versed.

Perhaps this romance-mystery-thriller trifecta possibility
is what makes the royal life drama more exciting to see.
Whatever it is, I admit I'll probably take a peek...
hoping to see some royalty obsessed freak.

Honestly, though, I wish the bride and groom a happy day
and I hope no psychotic people get in the way. 
Please don't hate me for wanting to study this obsession.
Perhaps, on me, you did make an impression.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

For additional fun, take this quiz.
Perhaps we'll learn what the obsession is.

This rhyme is being shared at One Stop Poetry.
Come on to join in "one shot" #43.
My NaPoWriMo poem #27

Monday, April 25, 2011

Rhyme Me a Smile Meme

My blog friend Rimly tagged me in a meme,
I didn't respond, but didn't mean to be mean.
It's just that I didn't really know what it was
and was caught up in my NaPoWriMo buzz.

I've learned since then it means writing about me.
Perhaps you're wondering if I'm really truly wacky?
What ideas and behaviors make up my culture?
Am I really just a silly news knowledge vulture?

I understand why you'd want to know if I'm crazy.
Who wants advice from someone who's mentally hazy?
Don't worry, no one's told me I'm legally insane,
nor have I ever injured or damaged my brain.

I'm certainly not graceful or indestructible though
and have sprained / broken many a finger and toe.
Thankfully, I've never damaged an arm, leg or eye,
 but I doubt I'll keep that record until the day I die.

I get stressed out, angry and depressed just like you
and find writing these rhymes is the "medicinal" thing to do.
The wacky news and blog stories I read for inspiration
are also a constant source of (possibly shallow) elation.

Sometimes I eat chocolate or nachos instead...
or a whole yummy loaf of cheesy garlic bread.
To distract me from food, I look to my friends
on our combined wackiness my happiness depends.

I like karaoke, poker, wine tasting and whiskey
and running 'round town in costume when frisky.
I'm addicted to 30 Rock but don't watch much TV.
Usually the boob tube's just background noise for me.

I get a bit of a thrill from breaking traditions and rules.
I once built a menorah with bottles, candles and skewers for tools.
The guest of honor got the first chance to shoot out the flames
then the pellet guns were passed to the other gents and dames.

So there you have it... a Rhyme Me a Smile Meme.
The final fact about me?  My favorite color is green.
I hope you enjoyed these rhyming personal fun facts
and that they gave you a chance to giggle and relax.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo poem #26

Technorati Tags: , , , , ,

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Is Rhyming Smiling Happiness Overrated?

Image by nixxphotography via

Some scientists are saying "hedonic well-being" (like that found here)
is much less important than the pursuing the life goals you hold dear.
In fact, they feel despite less day-to day pleasure, fulfilling goals can
improve the late in life health of the average stressed out family man.

I certainly believe long term goals are important - I have quite a few -
yet I believe the little silly moments are quite important for us all too.
I think the study was frowning more on dreams of riches and fame
but technically, my rhymes bring extrinsic pleasure just the same.

New shoes or jewelry might entice some women to smile longer.
Some would grin more for that millionaire's house down yonder.
Others want to attend the swanky parties with the stars.
Many spend too much money buying crazy fancy cars.
I think my rhymes represent the beneficial kind of extrinsic.
To have no fleeting silly moments at all just seems sadistic.
Who doesn't need a happy boost to defeat day to day strife?
I do.  Rhyming smiling happiness propels me through my life.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme was written in response to a verse challenge from Rhymes for Our Times.

Sharing this in the Poetry Potluck also makes me happy.
Come on over to read more beautiful poetry.

My NaPoWriMo poem #25

The Lung Love Limerick Contest Winners

Thank you to each and everyone
who wrote a limerick - it was fun!
So many funny pleas to quit smoking.
They were silly, witty, wise and joking.
I hope you had as much fun as me
because your words filled me with glee.

Without further adieu,
let me give to you,
unanimously voted winners.


Tobacco will end your life quicker
than hundred proof bootleg malt liquor
Or broken seat belts
Or eating raw smelt
Or attack by a wild rabid flicker.

So if offing yourself is your plan
Keep on puffing away you dumb man
our corpse will look great
Yellow teeth, wrinkled pate
All the dreams for your life down the can.


I just can't stand the smell any more
Sleeping with you is a chore!
You reek of stale smoke
Your stench makes me choke
Either quit or else sleep on the floor!


It’s time that you put out your butts
‘Cuz smoking is silly and nuts!
It’s really not cool
So don’t be a fool:
Don’t tarry or linger or futz!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Greenzilla's Earth Day Plea

Image by Idea Go via

I still believe that we've all got the need
to do some good - we know we should -
and I hope every enviro-dope today will cope
by reading Greenzilla's Earth Day pleading.

Why must we sometimes be so lazy
that we drop our soda pop and don't stop
to save the can?  Be a man - a recycling fan.
Just one could save hours of power for fun!

To really beat the cold and heat, conserving is neat.
One degree can store 10% for when you're needing more.
There will be some for everyone!  Oh how much fun
to share the love like handmade gloves... sort of.

It's not bull.  Landfills are full, so here's the rule:
Limit your waste with haste.  Make it your taste
to try to buy from the local guy.  Why?
Less packaging to each something will cling. 
Ca-ching!!! To Greenzilla, happy thoughts this will bring.

If you haven't gotten greener yet, but regret...
and your contempt has you feeling verklempt...
Make this Earth Day the one when you say,
"I must do more to stand up for... Mother Earth.  She's sore."

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved. 

This rhyme is being shared in the Poetry Pantry.
Share your poetry there to get blog traffic for free.

My NaPoWriMo poem #24.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Penguin Giggle

Recently I got a good giggle
watching this little penguin wiggle.
My dad and brother often tickled me
when little and it crippled me
while also filling me with glee
and minor fear that I would pee.
This penguin seems to know that feeling.
What a rare joy to hear his squealing!

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo  poem #23

Thank you, Jingle, for the Magical Butterfly Award.


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Coupon Craze

Image by Michal Marcol via

I'm curious about how this Groupon craze
will economically impact us in future days.
Are mass half-off discounts really realistic?
Or was the instigator a bit too optimistic?

As much as I love never paying full price
and wish all shopping deals were that nice,
I wonder how they will recover the profit?
I doubt they'll settle for earning a droplet.

I think it's the current recession's Catch-22:
using coupons to spur spending from me and you.
We need more spending to grow the economy,
but with coupons you need even more frivolity.

I remember when all coupons were totally uncool.
Now using them proudly's the new golden rule.
I hope some are spending even more than before
otherwise we are merely evening the score.

I, for one, don't want wages, quality or service to suffer --
hope the coupon craze won't demand that as a buffer.
Business owners are already starting to complain.
Are they just being whiny or really feeling income strain?

Does it really even matter? Who exactly is in charge?
Will we / Can we change our tendency to live life large?
Must we cut back at all if life's affordable with coupons?
Perhaps we'll know before the dictionary includes "groupons".

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This poem has been linked into the Thursday Poets' Rally.
Come join in the fun and up the poem tally!

My NaPoWriMo poem #22.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Thrillerizing Education

Who says the Chinese don't know how to have fun?
These school kids do --  each and every one.
To spice up their required daily dance routine
they recreate Michael Jackson's "dangerous" scene.
It's amazing how many kids experience elation
when you help them thrillerize their education.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme is being shared in One Shot Wednesday.
Click on oner to read the petry contribluted today!

My NaPoWriMo poem #21

Monday, April 18, 2011

Little Language Learner

Image by Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot via

A 10 year old blind girl named Alexia Sloane
has proven her skills could take her far from home.
Trilingual since birth, she guest translated for parliament.
I wonder if she yet knows how much that day meant.
It seems that she's driven by love of language and learning.
Currently learning her fifth -- for German fluency she's yearning.
I hope she also uses those skills for games like scrabble
and that with many kids her own age she does babble.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo poem #20.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Read My Name Necklace

Visit Spiffing Jewelry at Etsy to purchase beautiful items like the one shown above!

A gal with a very long name
wore it on her necklace chain
to teach all who spelled wrong
that weird name oh-so-long
without causing her vocals to strain.

Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme was written for MadKane's Nameless Limerick - Limerick Off.

My NaPoWriMo poem #19.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Lung Love Limerick Contest

Image by tungphoto via

I inherited my rhyming gift from my beloved Grandma Betty
who was also known to make some seriously scrumptious spaghetti.
Well, ok... not really... I just liked the way those words rhymed.
Also, I think she'd agree the joke was impeccably timed.

My Grandma Betty left this world many years ago and never saw
these wacky rhymes I write for you. (She'd drop her jaw.)
I thought a nice way to honor her on her birthday would be
to get my friends (that's you) to write her some limericks with me.

She would like it if we encouraged people to stop smoking,
by writing fun rhymes chock full of humor and joking.
So, I'm hosting a contest with the help of a limerick queen-
Mad Kane's the best limerick contest host I've ever seen!

How it works is that I will feed you a few "first lines" to use.
You use them to write as many limericks as you choose.
Mad Kane and I will judge your skill, silliness and poetry style.
You've got 'til Monday night to enter then I'll post awards after a while.

Are you ready to write a smoker's limerick for Grandma Betty?
Here's the non-rhyming instructions for whenever you are ready.

(1)  Choose one of the following first lines for your limerick:

It's time that you put out your butts.
I just can't stand the smell anymore.
Tobacco will end your life quicker.

(2)  Write your limerick in the comments section below or post it on your blog and leave the link here.  (If you do post your limerick on your blog, it would be great if you could include a link to the contest in your post.)

(3)  Please help promote the contest via Facebook, Twitter and your other blog networking groups.

You will have three days to write your limericks and post or link them here.  Mad Kane and I will judge your poems for both humor and poetic skill.  Check back Sunday, April 24th for the list of winners!  We hope to have enough entries to award first, second, and third place, plus a few honorable mentions.  Of course, we hope the joy of helping people laugh through their smoker withdrawals towards a tobacco free life is all the reward you need.  And now... let the Lung Love Limerick writing begin!

Sample #1 - by Rachel Hoyt

It's time that you put out your butts.
The black lung will get you, you putz.
Put it out.  Just be through.
Don't let smoking kill you.
Reach deep down -- get in touch with your guts.

Sample #2 - by Rachel Hoyt

I just can't stand the smell anymore
And I hate how it makes people snore.
I'm a ladylike gal.
Please don't take a hike, pal.
I'll stop reeking from ev'ry last pore.

Sample #3 - by Madeline Kane

Tobacco will end your life quicker.
So quit smoking already. Don't dicker.
It's bad for your heart
And it simply ain't smart.
So be kind to your lungs and your ticker.

If you need a brief refresher course on Limerick form or meter, visit the links in Mad Kane's most recent Limerick-Off post

Technorati Tags: , , , , ,

In this post are my NaPoWriMo poems #16, 17 and 18.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Finagling Floatopia

Image by chrisroll via

Though Isla Vista is connected
to Santa Barbara, it's rejected
for not fitting the perspective
of the overall collective.

Students come and go so much
leaving rental damage and such
that people fear the things they touch
and that the city will be their crutch.

It doesn't help the city any
when students roam the streets a-plenty.
They rarely have more than a penny
to pay to clean up after many.

It's not so much to ask, I think,
for masses to need permits to drink.
If the Foatopians don't want to sink
someone must write their name in ink.

or just sit drinking from their flask?
Be safe and clean up is all that we ask
for floaters to float and sunbathers to bask.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo poem #15

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Magic Quill Pen

Image by Simon Howden via

My taxes are a-calling me
but poetry's a-stalling me.

I'll gruntingly swallow the bill
but, Uncle Sam, you make me ill.

You take so very much from me
though I've not won the lottery.

I am hoping my magic quill
finds you already got your fill.

Oh no!  My quill pen has flown off!!
Uncle Sam, is that how you scoff?!

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme is being shared in the Poetry Pantry.
Click on over to read or share poetry there with glee.
My NaPoWriMo poem #14

This rhyme was linked in to One Shot Wednesday.
If you're a poet, you should come over to play.

Looks Like a Puffer Fish

Image via Google Images

Do you fear sneezing with your eyes open?
Do you hide silly faces for fear they'll stick?
I fear the first but for the second am hopin' -
I mean not for me, but to cause it'd be slick.

Anyhow, add this bad habit to your list:
yawning real big looks like a puffer fish.
If you got stuck like that you'd be pissed.
Never to go through that is a sincere wish.

Rachel Hoyt 2011. All rights reserved.

This rhyme is being shared in the Poetry Pantry.
Click on over to read or share poetry there with glee.

My NaPoWriMo poem #13

Monday, April 11, 2011

Fly Geyser

I've just read about a neat place called Fly Geyser.
You must brave booby traps to closely spy her.
An accidentally created geothermal mound
not yet converted to a public stomping ground.

On a ranch currently owned by a Mr. Todd Jaksick,
growing bigger by the minute.  Isn't nature fantastic?!
I hope someday he'll allow us to see it up close.
The wonders of nature are the travel stops I like most.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo poem #12

This poem is being shared in Poetry Potluck.  Please be sure to leave me
the link to your potluck poem so I can easily return your comment. 

Technorati Tags: , , , , ,

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Alpaca Attraction

taught me less of you than it did about me.
I had asked for bloggers to write up a post
about the animal that they resemble most.
I'm still new to the writing prompt niche
and my topics are obscure as microfiche.
I'm thankful 8 blogging friends showed support.
The following is my study response retort.

Four cats and a tiger are 1/4+ my blog friends.
They're feline affection and modern attitude blends.
As in my home life, one blog friend is a turtle.
(I wish she had a rhyming name such as Myrtle.)
My blog friend Mr. Cheese thinks he is a snake.
Does he think he'll someday be killed by a rake?
Atypical Scott says he dreams of life as a sloth,
which is a hundred times better than life as a moth.

This sampling's too narrow to represent a people,
but what it says of me might also make you gleeful.
Though I attract mostly kitties - black, brown and yellow -
also flocking to me are stranger creatures, also mellow.
Perhaps I really am like that goofy cute Alpaca:
chill, cute and comical 'cuz I sometimes spit at ya.
You can't help but laugh.  You can't help but smile.
You can't wait to come back and hang out a while.

Hehe.  Now that I'm done brainwashing you.
I'll say a quick thank you and then be through.
Thanks for the fun thoughts your posts put in my head.
Thanks trifold if this far in the rhyme you have read.
All participants in the study win the Million Bucks Award.
Your creative contrubutions are much appreciated.
(And, no, my joy about it's not being inflated.)
Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo poem #11

Saturday, April 9, 2011

A Wacky News Rhyming Riddle

Image by Salvatore Vuono via

What is crazy bright colored and large?
Visible on land while at sea on a barge?
Annoying as heck but sometimes tempting?
Of a niche I'd hoped was worth neglecting?

The newest place advertisers are pondering
to plaster their encouragement for squandering?
Thank god these things are forbidden in Santa Barbara.
Watch out America!  Billboard houses soon will taunt ya.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo poem #10

Friday, April 8, 2011

Scary Small Studios

A scary small studio's solemnity
is something that's all too familiar to me.
Ponderously placed pictures, pots, panties and pumps?
The maintenance cycle here goes through too many slumps.
Being bombarded by a barrage of belongings
seems my fate though not befit my longings.

Perhaps I should call this gal to help me?
She's got 90 square feet.  I've got 250.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011. All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo poem #9

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Hairy Legs Dream

Image by anankkml via

I recently dreamt my legs were really hairy -
hairy like a brown bear's are - pretty dang scary.
Thankfully I have friends who interpret dreams.
They help me figure out what everything means.
It's likely I was fearing NaPoWrioMo defeat,
perhaps worrying that I couldn't complete,
a full month of poems without going crazy
though certainly not due to acting lazy.
So I thought I'd twist that "fear" into a rhyme
and save the hairy legs dream for another time.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo poem #8

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Streaming Mediocre Content

Image by Salvatore Vuono via 

Please Misters Universal, Warner Bro's and Twentieth Century Fox,
don't make me pay $30 per month for mediocre content to my box.
I can't afford to pay more, but with the minimum I'd be bored!
Please sirs.  Rad rhyming requests shan't be ignored.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011. All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo Poem #7
Technorati Tags: 

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Fifty Ways to Bling Your Wristy

The moment I saw this funny cartoon on Neatorama, a tune popped into my head: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon.  Thankfully, the artist agreed to let me use his image as well so I could finish writing this song parody in rhyme.

Image used by permission.  © Lunchbreath. All rights reserved.

The problem is your screwed up mind she said to me.
The answer is simple if you just think stylishly.
Fashion's here to help with your watch-free identity.
There must be fifty ways to bling your wristy.

She said I usually don't insult a sister's style.
But I think you got that watch from a thrift store jewelry pile.
That you still wear one brings to me an awkward smile.
There must be fifty ways to bling your wristy.
Fifty ways to bling your wristy.

You could make a cool cash stash.
A pocket for chill pills.
But don't wear a toy. Oy!
That's just plain silly.

Get hip to the style, child.
You'll be smiling for a while...
Just some sort of bling thing
and something glue-e.

She said creatively
think less plain than a chain.
I wish for you a miniature zoo
though that sounds insane.
I said I'd really like that
and please, what else remains
on your list of ways...

She said I'm so sorry but
we're closing for the night.
I believe crafting til morning,
would help you to see the light.

And then it hit me -
I realized that she probably was right.
I'll think of fifty ways
to bling my wristy.
Fifty ways to bling my wristy.

I'll make me an ouch puch.
Maybe I'll darn yarn.
Hide things I buy.  Why?
Just 'cuz it's funny.

Nicknacks on display, eh?
I believe I've got a pile...
There the fifty things will be.
I'll bling my wristy.
Fifty ways to bling my wristy...

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo Poem #6
Technorati Tags: