Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Fifty Ways to Bling Your Wristy

The moment I saw this funny cartoon on Neatorama, a tune popped into my head: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon.  Thankfully, the artist agreed to let me use his image as well so I could finish writing this song parody in rhyme.

Image used by permission.  © Lunchbreath. All rights reserved.

The problem is your screwed up mind she said to me.
The answer is simple if you just think stylishly.
Fashion's here to help with your watch-free identity.
There must be fifty ways to bling your wristy.

She said I usually don't insult a sister's style.
But I think you got that watch from a thrift store jewelry pile.
That you still wear one brings to me an awkward smile.
There must be fifty ways to bling your wristy.
Fifty ways to bling your wristy.

You could make a cool cash stash.
A pocket for chill pills.
But don't wear a toy. Oy!
That's just plain silly.

Get hip to the style, child.
You'll be smiling for a while...
Just some sort of bling thing
and something glue-e.

She said creatively
think less plain than a chain.
I wish for you a miniature zoo
though that sounds insane.
I said I'd really like that
and please, what else remains
on your list of ways...

She said I'm so sorry but
we're closing for the night.
I believe crafting til morning,
would help you to see the light.

And then it hit me -
I realized that she probably was right.
I'll think of fifty ways
to bling my wristy.
Fifty ways to bling my wristy.

I'll make me an ouch puch.
Maybe I'll darn yarn.
Hide things I buy.  Why?
Just 'cuz it's funny.

Nicknacks on display, eh?
I believe I've got a pile...
There the fifty things will be.
I'll bling my wristy.
Fifty ways to bling my wristy...

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

My NaPoWriMo Poem #6
Technorati Tags:


  1. Haha .. excellent - love Paul Simon, and this song is sooo retro 70s cool .. but your parody is wonderful - I gave up a watch years ago (with mobile phones in every pocket who needs one eh? .. very amusing stuff Rachel .. {;o)


  3. LOL, makes me want to bling my wristy!

  4. Simon is going to be so proud of you : ))) You are just fantastic!

  5. Nice:)

    But I still wear a watch.

  6. @KW - So glad you liked it Kevin! I adore being described as retro 70's cool! :)

    @Bongo - It's always a thrill to make you smile. :) xoxo

    @Jeremy - Glad you liked it! Hope the comic contest is going well. ::)

    @Wanda - Bling it! You know your wristy will look awesomer if you do. :)

    @Kriti - It would be an honor to have Paul Simon read my work! I sure hope he hears about me. Hehe. :)

    @Doug - Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. :)

  7. Hehe, this was cute! And I'll fancy my wristy in fifty ways then.... :)

  8. LOL..I like this one! You are good :)

  9. As a huge Paul Simon fan I have to say awesome parody! Lots of fun to read for me and my wristy!!

  10. This was so much fun. You did good.

  11. @Jorie - I look forward to seeing what type of wristy bling you choose! Hehe. :)

    @AG and @Nelieta - Thanks! Although, "too good" seems a bit too much AG. :)

    @azfree - I love Paul Simon too! He's super talented. :)

    @Dave and @Andy - So glad you had fun! Hope you'll return to read another one. :)

  12. Rachel, you never cease to amaze me with your words! Smiling from ear to ear:)

  13. So much fun to read - I wanna go bling my wristy now oxox

  14. @Mary - Hope you didn't get a headache from that huge grin!! :)

    @SJ - What are you going to bling it with? Hehe. :)

  15. a hilarious bit! :)
    new word for me wristy lol cool lol



Rhyming or not, I would like a lot to hear the thoughts my words brought...