Saturday, April 16, 2011

Lung Love Limerick Contest

Image by tungphoto via

I inherited my rhyming gift from my beloved Grandma Betty
who was also known to make some seriously scrumptious spaghetti.
Well, ok... not really... I just liked the way those words rhymed.
Also, I think she'd agree the joke was impeccably timed.

My Grandma Betty left this world many years ago and never saw
these wacky rhymes I write for you. (She'd drop her jaw.)
I thought a nice way to honor her on her birthday would be
to get my friends (that's you) to write her some limericks with me.

She would like it if we encouraged people to stop smoking,
by writing fun rhymes chock full of humor and joking.
So, I'm hosting a contest with the help of a limerick queen-
Mad Kane's the best limerick contest host I've ever seen!

How it works is that I will feed you a few "first lines" to use.
You use them to write as many limericks as you choose.
Mad Kane and I will judge your skill, silliness and poetry style.
You've got 'til Monday night to enter then I'll post awards after a while.

Are you ready to write a smoker's limerick for Grandma Betty?
Here's the non-rhyming instructions for whenever you are ready.

(1)  Choose one of the following first lines for your limerick:

It's time that you put out your butts.
I just can't stand the smell anymore.
Tobacco will end your life quicker.

(2)  Write your limerick in the comments section below or post it on your blog and leave the link here.  (If you do post your limerick on your blog, it would be great if you could include a link to the contest in your post.)

(3)  Please help promote the contest via Facebook, Twitter and your other blog networking groups.

You will have three days to write your limericks and post or link them here.  Mad Kane and I will judge your poems for both humor and poetic skill.  Check back Sunday, April 24th for the list of winners!  We hope to have enough entries to award first, second, and third place, plus a few honorable mentions.  Of course, we hope the joy of helping people laugh through their smoker withdrawals towards a tobacco free life is all the reward you need.  And now... let the Lung Love Limerick writing begin!

Sample #1 - by Rachel Hoyt

It's time that you put out your butts.
The black lung will get you, you putz.
Put it out.  Just be through.
Don't let smoking kill you.
Reach deep down -- get in touch with your guts.

Sample #2 - by Rachel Hoyt

I just can't stand the smell anymore
And I hate how it makes people snore.
I'm a ladylike gal.
Please don't take a hike, pal.
I'll stop reeking from ev'ry last pore.

Sample #3 - by Madeline Kane

Tobacco will end your life quicker.
So quit smoking already. Don't dicker.
It's bad for your heart
And it simply ain't smart.
So be kind to your lungs and your ticker.

If you need a brief refresher course on Limerick form or meter, visit the links in Mad Kane's most recent Limerick-Off post

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In this post are my NaPoWriMo poems #16, 17 and 18.


  1. It's time that you put out your butts.
    The ones in your mouth! Are you nuts?
    Give up, I repeat
    Don't stick out your seat
    or touch the swing door when it shuts

  2. Tobacco will end your life quicker,
    especially if taken with liquor.
    And once you are gone
    no smoke will live on,
    which will cause all non-smokers to snicker!

  3. My smoking may give you all fits
    But I'll bet you at least ten bits
    As I inhale so deep
    I even smoke in my sleep!
    but I'll still be writing all your obits

  4. Grandma Betty would be so happy
    Your limericks are so snappy!
    Keep 'em coming. This is fun!
    So far I'm loving every one.

  5. It's time to put out your buts,
    unless you are death wishing nuts,
    who wish to perish
    with cancer nightmarish
    or just are a crude nasty putz.
    I hear your news with some regret
    and hope you too, will new ways set
    New mother to be,
    does baby agree,
    to help you smoke your cigarette?

    check limericks on my URL, please.

  6. How did I become anonymous? Irrelevent yes, infamous perhaps but never anonymous!

  7. I'm glad you became un-anonymous, Gerald. :) I can't get your url to work though. :( I'll try again later...

  8. Tobacco will end your life quicker,
    messing up your precious ticker,
    and now you've been warned,
    my good advice scorned,
    Goodbye you weird bucket-kicker!

    Al's smoking made beholders choke.
    He insisted on his right to smoke.
    Friends begged him to quit,
    he heard none of it
    now buried here, his habits broke!

  9. It's time to put out your butts
    If not your life-span will be cut.
    Your lungs turn to glue
    Nails & lips will turn blue
    Not a fun way to die, lest you're nuts.

  10. hehehe. Those are great fun to read as well. :) Thank you Gerald and Sydney. :)

  11. Tobacco will end your life quicker
    than hundred proof bootleg malt liquor
    Or broken seat belts
    Or eating raw smelt
    Or attack by a wild rabid flicker.

    So if offing yourself is your plan
    Keep on puffing away you dumb man
    Your corpse will look great
    Yellow teeth, wrinkled pate
    All the dreams for your life down the can.

  12. Rachel I am going to try this one I will post on my site and link back and up to yours.
    PS your not allowed to laugh this will be my first time at rhyme.
    Okay????? Okay!

  13. Raychel,
    here ya go....

    Be gentle lol

  14. it's time that you put out your butts.
    Why you cluts?
    Well it will kill you, you know?
    And you don't think I know?
    Well, no!

  15. Great idea, Rachel! I added mine to my blog! <3

  16. I just can't stand the smell anymore
    It used to make my taste buds feel sore
    I sounded like the Hoff
    Until I couldn't lose the cough
    Now I'm three years quit going on four

  17. There was no way I could pass up this contest!

  18. Great idea Rachel!

  19. “It’s time that you put out your butts”
    “To keep huffing and puffing is nuts!”
    Said my doctor, Ira Quack
    As he pulled out a pack
    Of smokes and a cigarette lighter

  20. Usage of tobacco must be stopped. Such that your grandmother is teaching you very good lesson in that manner you can make your health good and also help to reduce the lung cancer.

  21. Thanks for visiting, Lola! I'm glad you agree this is an important message I'm spreading in honor of my grandma. :)

  22. This blog helps to reduce lung cancer and how to maintain healthy body.Thanks so much..

  23. Thank you, Kevin! I'm glad you think the lung limericks are helpful. :)

  24. This is my favorite contest that I have ever seen on the internet! Way to be creative!


Rhyming or not, I would like a lot to hear the thoughts my words brought...