Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Giggle Worthy Goals

                    Image by Idea Go via

I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions per say.
I'm hyperactive, so I make them nearly every single day.
One current goal is to improve my skills in my craft.
I've studied Sociology but as a poet I'm still a bit daft.

I decided step one was to make up some interesting rhyme pairs.
I developed a list starting out with some commenters' rhyme dares.
It has now turned into a wacky list of giggle worthy goals,
intertwined with links to some fabulous bloggy souls.

I hope for an occasion to say suffering succotash.
I want to start the year off at a bad ass New Year's bash.

I hope to find a long lost stash of abalone.
I wish to never, ever, EVER eat bologna.

I hope to study and explore epistemology.
I wish for success in my Smiley Sociology.

I hope to avoid the feeling described as katzenjammer.
I wish never to hit myself with a hammer. Kablammer.

I hope I find a way to un-squeak my door hinge.
I want to buy more clothing that is dark orange.

I hope to visit the place where they make Jack Daniels.
I wish to pet all publicly encountered Cocker Spaniels.

I hope to make friends with more poets like Mr. Booguloo.
I want to re-watch the movie, The Man With One Red Shoe

I hope more people start to use the term bum chuck.
I wish the public wasn't so obnoxiously star struck.

I hope to never own clothing that resembles dust ruffles.
I want a never ending supply of delicious chocolate truffles.

I hope I become strong enough to climb Matchupitchu.
I want to take photos of funny signs with names like Kalamazoo.

I wish to sell stuff with wacky sayings like, "May your days...
be filled with pleasures richer than homemade mayonnaise.

There are plenty more giggle worthy goals where these came from,
but their rhymes are less lovable than a steadily beaten drum.
Perhaps you'll make some giggle worthy goals of your own?
My process is to just sit back, relax, and let the mind roam.
I'd love to hear your goals for 2011 in the comments section here,
and would be delighted if stumbles, facebook posts and tweets did appear.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

Do you want your links to appear in a rhyme?
Participate in the Smiley Sociology Study next time.

This rhyme is being sharef with One Shot Poetry Week #26.
Head there if you need a fulfilling poetry fix.

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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Drunken Turtle Pirate Road Trip

        Jessi drew this especially for me!!!  :o)  © Jessi Finicum 2010.  All rights reserved.

When a drunken turtle pirate takes a road trip,
It’s bound to be a grand adventure…
Because the main purpose of any city hop skip,
Is to escape the bonds of daily life’s indenture.

To ensure the most memories possible,
A drunken turtle pirate driver follows these five rules.
But be forewarned, trouble is cause-able,
Because mischievous stuff like this ain't taught in schools.

Ye shall be tempted to seek me treasure,
but yaar just a silly land lubber matey.
Plunder ye happily if such be yer pleasure,
but fear ye the depths, the locker, and Davey.

Rule #1: Always watch for the local crazy signs…
because you never know what fun stuff there will be.
One Arizona city posts “Your Now Beyond Hope” two times…
No matter which way you drive through, you’ll see.

Rule #2: If you smell treasure nearby, stop and plunder.
Gems and other riches could be hiding nearby.
So keep a metal detector and excavation kit down under.
When you can, stop and give mining a try.

Rule #3: One memorable souvenir is a must…
Be it from nature or sneakily obtained, even better.
Bring a partner whom you can trust.
You’ll find treasures galore with a go-getter.

Rule #4: Never be afraid to take that scary looking shortcut.
Unexplored routes are likely to be ripe with bounty.
Four wheel drive is required for this stage of the gauntlet.
Triple-A doesn’t tow in this part of the county.

Rule #5… only to be tried by those with nothing to lose…
Always pick up strangers in orange jump suits.
An unexpected offer for a ride and some booze,
might just make a convict shake in his boots.

Of course, as the pirate always says of his code,
these are more like guidelines than actual rules.
It's just my drunken turtle pirate road trip mode,
you can invent your own using these tools.

Wherever ye travel, I hope it be pleasin.
Aye dat no scallywags be teasin.
Shiver ye timbers with memories of adventure.
Arrr, let rum be yer life's only indenture.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

Do you want your blog link to appear within a rhyme?
Participate in a Smiley Sociology Study sometime. :o)

This rhyme is being shared via One Stop Poetry #25.
Visit my fellow poets there to read more fun jive.
It's also entered in the Poetry Potluck on festivities.
The forum there has many links that'll please.

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Barrel of Monkeys Driving Test

A little while back on a day trip to the wineries,
I invented a new safe driver type test.
My designated driver had a barrel of monkeys,
just hanging on my car seat... 'cuz they're the best!
So I hung those cute little red monkeys, four in a row.
Said we'd whine if they swung wild or fell down below.
One monkey fell after several hours of watching,
but it was while navigating a bumpy dirt road.
I must say, they don't slow much from the factory notching,
and there was never a risk we'd implode.

Since then I've been thinking on this subject more.
The idea could be used for fun field sobriety exams.
I think policemen would absolutely adore...
childhood games played by drunk dudes and madames.
Jenga and Pin the Tail on the Donkey might be a little tough,
but Twister, Operation, or Charades would be even more rough.
Perhaps for April Fool's day some precinct will try...
by the power of Chief Wiggum, I hope they do.
Of course, for their prank to successfully fly,
they'll need permission to slightly harass me and you.

I would think Pictionary game night at a dive bar,
is likely to draw a decent sized crowd.
Of course those who don't like it would run far,
because Pictionary players can get pretty loud.
Or, you might be able to increase daytime payouts,
with card tower creation or domino pattern layouts.
I think you'd be surprised who would enjoy,
the chance to relive memories of being a child.
Most men like the chance to act like a boy;
the ability to feel like they're really getting wild.

I, for one, will always remember that special day,
when we invented the barrel of monkeys driving test.
No worry or care could get in our way.
We were living in the moment and forgetting the rest.
Ok... so, perhaps the wine influenced the monkeys hanging in a row.
Then again, we were sober when inventing Early Morning Merlot.
I'm just the type who finds great joy in little things;
and have even more fun making fun of myself.
Mischief... oh the joy it brings.
Hard to leave it on the shelf.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

Do you want your blog link to appear within a rhyme?
Participate in a Smiley Sociology Study sometime.  :o)
This rhyme is being shared on One Stop Poetry
Head over there if more poetry you wish to see.
It's also a part of the Poetry Potluck on Reflections and Musings,
head over there to find more poetry worth perusing.
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Monday, December 13, 2010

Smiley Sociology Study #1

You may have noticed while reading my site,
that I link to bloggers whose writing brings me delight.
I seek wacky news and opinions from talented writers,
cartoons, art, and other curiosity igniters.
Anytime you like you can email links to rachhoyt[at]gmail[dot]com,
but you may enjoy more the Smiley Sociology forum.

Once a month I will post rhyming request for your links,
so I can pseudo-qualitatively learn what each of you thinks.
The mutually beneficial fees for participation are two chores:
First, you must reference Rhyme Me a Smile's blog within yours.
Next comment here and on others' posts to make friends and "open doors".

While hosting a meet and greet for my soon to be blog friends,
I will collect the wacky links on which my rhyme writing depends.
I will also showcase my new blog friends as I'm able to fit them in...
because a new rhyming blog review showcase is about to begin.
I know it's hard to get new followers and want to help you spread the word.
By linking back and forth together, surely more of us will be heard.

           Image by jscrationzs used with permission of

Study #1:  Top 10 _____ of 2010

Right now I'd like to read your Top 10 _____ of 2010 ramblings:
favorite memories, new discoveries or strangely popular gatherings.
Any family friendly lists are welcomed -- no naughty stuff please.
This site focuses on adventures, art, poetry and plots that appease.

Let the link sharing begin -- just use the entry form below.
(Brownie points for posting my link on social websites you know.)
Why not put together a quick list of your favorite posts from 2010?
It's a good idea to recap your writing and brag a little now and then.

Don't be shy... you need not be funny or write stuff like I do.
I welcome mommy bloggers, artists and writers of all types.
Just post a link here and see what traffic comes to you.
Promoting blog writing brings Smiley Sociology delights.

© 2010 - 2011 Rachel Hoyt

Non rhyming directions for the poetry challenged:
(1) create a new top 10 list and post it to your blog OR choose a top 10 list already on your blog
(2) mention and link back to the Smiley Sociology Study within your post
(3) copy the link for that post
(4) paste link into Mister Linky below
(5) leave a comment here to let me know you've posted a link
(6) read links left by others and tell them (nicely) what you think
(7) enjoy your increase in traffic  :o)

I will keep Mr. Linky open until (at least) midnight on Saturday, Dec. 18th.  Until then... keep sending me your links!  :o)

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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Whoville Spirit

           Image by Simon Howden.  Used by permission of

Recently a thought wandered onto my mind's windowsill.
What ever happened to the cheerful citizens of Whoville?
They're famous worldwide for outsmarting The Grinch.
They make feeling Christmas cheer seem like it's a cinch.
I wonder if the Whovillians have spread out among us?
Or are they singing carols as a choir on a traveling bus?
Wherever they are, we need their help un-grinching us.

Somewhere, sometime, someone loved that mean old Grinch.
They too wished the thought of Christmas would make people flinch.
No one should feel inspired to power their lights with an electric eel.
Presents, or lack thereof, should be able to produce the right feel...
as long as you're convinced you must have some unobtainable deal.

I imagine he first sought to make the most desired children's toy.
Thinking that through their popularity he'd control Christmas joy.
Perhaps he invented one of the first board games?
Or maybe the yo-yo or remote control airplanes?
Silly putty, his invention it probably was not.
Tonka Trucks I bet he liked a whole lot.

He probably never got his own story until now,
because he triumphed before that first crash of the Dow.
After that, like-minded grinchsters abounded.
Shortly thereafter, consumer America was founded.
Whovillians were possibly the only ones astounded.

Everyone else seemed happier to fight a stranger for the new My Little Pony,
than to make decorative trim for the Christmas tree with tricolor macaroni.
Suddenly gone was the spirit needed to make a Fenway Park gingerbread house.
No desire remained for paper snowflakes of Darth Vader or Mickey Mouse.

Year after year, this new attitude has flourished.
Despite constantly feeling consumer malnourished.
Oh how much fun this Christmas would be,
if all over America the Whoville spirit we could see.
So please shop online if you can't behave in public.
Buy prank gift boxes for the holidays if you're comedy cultic.
If you don't enjoy crowds, get a cabin somewhere rustic.

We must not let the Grinch loving people take over.
We must do more than wish on a four leaf clover.
No matter what holiday you celebrate this time of year.
I hope your themed decorations are shining loud and clear.
Try not to let present giving interfere with family time.
Remember the grinch is winning every time you whine.
Let your heart and the Whoville spirit intertwine.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

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This poem is being shared via One Shot Wednesdays and the Poetry Potluck.  Visit One Shot Poetry and Jingle Poetry to read posts by other authors or share writing of your own.

I've also enetered this in week 35 of the Thursday poets rally.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

It's Make Fun of Me Day!

  A scan of the birthday card my parents gave me on Saturday...
          Inside it says, "Boogie down on your Birthday!

Have you noticed that the more birthdays you have in life,
the less they are about giving the celebrant some good times?
Friends tend to make fun of your age, causing mental strife,
and tell stories like they're listing your aging dumb person crimes.

The switch from fun day to make-fun-of-me-festival,
begins as you approach the dreaded age of forty.
Present giving amongst friends becomes more whimsical,
and humorous verbal self-flagellation turns sporty.

So, I have chosen today, my thirty-third birthday,
to announce to my friends on the world wide Internet,
that I happily contribute to annual make fun of me day,
because life's funner living wildly without regret.

Observation shows three popular making fun themes:
gracefulness, forgetfulness, and lack of self control.
Though for your stories to get truly gleeful screams,
you'll want something unique to share 'round the punch bowl.

No one who knows me well would disagree,
I have a tendency to slip, slide, trip and / or fumble.
There's plenty of stories one could share about me,
which involve funny injuries caused by a tumble.

There's no denying that with age, the memory fades.
(It takes me three times as long to learn names already.)
I'm saving self-control for the next few decades,
and letting the fun-o-meter sit strong and steady.

None of my life, thus far, has turned into movie scenes,
but neither have I been living inside a black hole.
Each silly story rhyme I write spills a bit of my beans...
my crazy ideas in print take you on a mind stroll.

Though I've never played the mood ring game for real,
I have made push pen people travel the world like a gnome.
I'm also too timid to trespass or steal,
but am truly weary of places where fancy pen users roam.

Though it shall remain secret how I celebrate tonight,
and precisely what type of party theme I will employ...
I can say I'm certain I'll be smiling with delight,
doing something myself and my friends all enjoy.

But be it camping in forbidden areas or sailing to nowhere,
gambling in the old west or flying to the moon.
Everyone should have a few stories that stand up your hair,
and at least one that makes you jealously swoon.

I don't think I'll party quite that rich this year,
nor is it required to have a blast.
I'm more the type who drinks whiskey and beer,
while playing childish games of the past.

I like skating, shooting, singing and shopping...
putt putt golf and poker playing too.
blasting, boating, bowling and bee-bopping...
or anything to which I am new.

The comments section is now open for suggestions,
and the paypal button is ready to accept your gifts.
I will even answer ten make fun of me questions...
just write them below and I'll answer in shifts.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

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