Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Barrel of Monkeys Driving Test

A little while back on a day trip to the wineries,
I invented a new safe driver type test.
My designated driver had a barrel of monkeys,
just hanging on my car seat... 'cuz they're the best!
So I hung those cute little red monkeys, four in a row.
Said we'd whine if they swung wild or fell down below.
One monkey fell after several hours of watching,
but it was while navigating a bumpy dirt road.
I must say, they don't slow much from the factory notching,
and there was never a risk we'd implode.

Since then I've been thinking on this subject more.
The idea could be used for fun field sobriety exams.
I think policemen would absolutely adore...
childhood games played by drunk dudes and madames.
Jenga and Pin the Tail on the Donkey might be a little tough,
but Twister, Operation, or Charades would be even more rough.
Perhaps for April Fool's day some precinct will try...
by the power of Chief Wiggum, I hope they do.
Of course, for their prank to successfully fly,
they'll need permission to slightly harass me and you.

I would think Pictionary game night at a dive bar,
is likely to draw a decent sized crowd.
Of course those who don't like it would run far,
because Pictionary players can get pretty loud.
Or, you might be able to increase daytime payouts,
with card tower creation or domino pattern layouts.
I think you'd be surprised who would enjoy,
the chance to relive memories of being a child.
Most men like the chance to act like a boy;
the ability to feel like they're really getting wild.

I, for one, will always remember that special day,
when we invented the barrel of monkeys driving test.
No worry or care could get in our way.
We were living in the moment and forgetting the rest.
Ok... so, perhaps the wine influenced the monkeys hanging in a row.
Then again, we were sober when inventing Early Morning Merlot.
I'm just the type who finds great joy in little things;
and have even more fun making fun of myself.
Mischief... oh the joy it brings.
Hard to leave it on the shelf.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

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  1. That title is a hoot! And I liked how you got around the poem. Too good!

  2. Very clear lines with many references I can relate to. Enjoy it very much, and I'm not just say that because I do used to have a barrel of monkeys. Nice One Shot!

  3. please excuse the above grammar errors. *scratches head*

  4. haha. fun verse and a bit of fun with the monkeys...using games as the DUI test would be a hoot...

  5. living in the moment is a good thing to do - enjoyed your poem and think about trying the barrels of monkey driving test...smiles

  6. WOW. Thank you everyone for the super sweet comments you've left here. In this poem, a glimpse into my life does appear. :o)

    Rhyme Me a Smile

  7. I liked your idea of fun sobriety tests.
    (I used to love my barrel o' monkeys!)

    The world would be a far better place if we all could remember and keep (or for some, finally find) the joys of our childhood play.

    Nice One Shot, Rachel!

  8. Thank you Eric! You're right... some peoples' childhood was quite sad. If they could find that happiness later in life, it would be RAD. :o)

    Rhyme Me a Smile

  9. I loved having a barrel of monkeys, and when I got older that was the first gift I generally gave children...ok so I wanted to play, too! What a fun poem, and what a concept a of dui test!

  10. This was pure fun!! I like your idea of having different precincts try such games, Rachel... but at our expenses huh? Hmmm... never mind... they'll be kind enough, I suppose :)

    Really enjoyed this fun ride with you... (giggles)

  11. Thank you SuziCate & Kavita. I'm glad you found it to be such a fun read. I had fun dreming it up and writing it indeed! :o)

  12. hehehe: thank you ~ That felt fun to read ~

    Now I'm going to spend a significant part of my evening contemplating various ways to incorporate a Barrel Of Monkeys into my life today! Forgot about them, then, instantaneously have fallen in love with them all over again! :D Nice :)

  13. Thank you Lisa for that amazing compliment! Affecting someone's night is rhyming well spent! :-)

  14. Over here tests for roadside sobriety,
    are not done by walking lines,
    Touching noses or other such variety.
    But could the units of alcohol be measured
    whether pints or shorts,
    both guzzled down and leisured,
    By games of skill and much dexterity
    or games of chance
    or manly game both butch and gritty.
    But over here our british police,
    ask us to blow up a bag,
    and alway politely with a please.

  15. Hi Sandy... thanks for stopping by! I like that you leave me rhymes to say hi. :o)

  16. We actually did used to use the Rubbermaid "shapes ball" (an infants toy) as a drunk driving test. Guests had to give us their keys when they arrived and put the shapes in the ball. We timed them. When they wanted to leave, they put the shapes in the ball again, as fast as they could. If they were more than a few seconds slower than they'd been when they arrived, they didn't get their keys back. Kids toys are great things and are underused.

  17. LOVE this comment Anonymous left here. I wish everyones names would secretly appear. :o)

  18. field sobriety exams... there's an idea (^_^). Like the rhythm and hilarity of this piece...enjoyable read.

  19. Very amusing and loved the refences to various games!

  20. i'm a old boy, trying to act like a man .. well maybe one day - cheers

  21. Oh, this looks like such a fun little driving test. I really want to set up a few monkeys in my boyfriend's car and see if he can pass the driving test... also secretly hope that it will make him more aware of his driving and improve.

  22. I love monkeys in a barrel they are so much fun. I will be taking a road trip soon... with some monkeys. You have inspired me.


Rhyming or not, I would like a lot to hear the thoughts my words brought...