Drunken Turtle Pirate Road Trip

        Jessi drew this especially for me!!!  :o)  © Jessi Finicum 2010.  All rights reserved.


When a drunken turtle pirate takes a road trip,
It’s bound to be a grand adventure…
Because the main purpose of any city hop skip,
Is to escape the bonds of daily life’s indenture.

To ensure the most memories possible,
A drunken turtle pirate driver follows these five rules.
But be forewarned, trouble is cause-able,
Because mischievous stuff like this ain't taught in schools.

Ye shall be tempted to seek me treasure,
but yaar just a silly land lubber matey.
Plunder ye happily if such be yer pleasure,
but fear ye the depths, the locker, and Davey.

Rule #1: Always watch for the local crazy signs…
because you never know what fun stuff there will be.
One Arizona city posts “Your Now Beyond Hope” two times…
No matter which way you drive through, you’ll see.

Rule #2: If you smell treasure nearby, stop and plunder.
Gems and other riches could be hiding nearby.
So keep a metal detector and excavation kit down under.
When you can, stop and give mining a try.

Rule #3: One memorable souvenir is a must…
Be it from nature or sneakily obtained, even better.
Bring a partner whom you can trust.
You’ll find treasures galore with a go-getter.

Rule #4: Never be afraid to take that scary looking shortcut.
Unexplored routes are likely to be ripe with bounty.
Four wheel drive is required for this stage of the gauntlet.
Triple-A doesn’t tow in this part of the county.

Rule #5… only to be tried by those with nothing to lose…
Always pick up strangers in orange jump suits.
An unexpected offer for a ride and some booze,
might just make a convict shake in his boots.

Of course, as the pirate always says of his code,
these are more like guidelines than actual rules.
It's just my drunken turtle pirate road trip mode,
you can invent your own using these tools.

Wherever ye travel, I hope it be pleasin.
Aye dat no scallywags be teasin.
Shiver ye timbers with memories of adventure.
Arrr, let rum be yer life's only indenture.

© Rachel Hoyt 2010 - 2011

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This rhyme is being shared via One Stop Poetry #25.
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