not something I imagined while drinking an adult beverage.
Image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphoto.net
For much of my life I have, perhaps naively, believed
that movies can fulfill some of my contemplative need.
The plots always seem puffed with bits of fantasy
which emphasize the lesson that we're supposed to see.
I watch stories I like over, and over, and over again.
I turn them on "as background noise" now and then.
I've figured that others existed who learn things this way.
Didn't know they'd become superheroes until the other day.
To the Real Life Superheroes who may feel I'm mocking...
sorry, but I find your devotion to world safety a bit shocking.
You aren't made of steel and can't run at the speed of light,
yet you roam the streets to save us from danger in the night.
Hopefully you'll never face the likes of Lex Luthor or Dr. Doom,
or any scary big dude who could throw you across the room.
Your "uniforms" may immediately irk certain tough guy types,
though if you help land 'em in jail it'll be the least of their gripes.
I'm guessing you consider the X-Men and Spiderman to be "must see".
I'm more likely to watch the Incredibles, Kick Ass or Despicable Me.
The way I see it, this superhero stuff is a bit much for a mere mortal.
On first read of your existence, from my lips sprang a weird chortle.
Could it be that Kick Ass inspired some to try to make a difference?
The news of Phoenix Jones feels like a movie in real life occurrence.
Next will we hear of Big Daddy, Hit Girl and Red Mist imitators?
I'm pretty sure that was not the intention of the movie's creators.
While this rhyme may bring a smirk, I think this is quite serious.
To hit the streets, masked, to fight crime seems scarily delirious.
Eventually, don't you think you'll become the wanted one?
Does bravery mean knowing that you'll face a loaded gun?
You certainly better be sure to keep your true identity secret.
If someone offers you a cash tip, you should most certainly keep it.
You may have training but I know you can't climb walls or fly.
Someday you too may cross the exact wrong tough guy.
So keep in mind that Kick Ass visited the hospital frequently.
Don't forget Mr. Incredible was sued and punished legally.
Perhaps, instead, emulate characters like my girl Greenzilla.
Her identity is up for grabs to a green cause hero, non-guerrilla.
All I ask is that I have full rights to Greenzilla's adventure stories.
OK, fine... the real superhero and I will share the monetary glories.
But be careful when feeding cows garlic or planting an unplanned tree,
I wouldn't want you to compromise yourself or your freedom for me.
© Rachel Hoyt 2011
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This poem has been linked in to One Shot Wednesday.
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Entertainment, Blogging, Superhero, Humor, Study, Writing
Aw, what a sweet homage! :)
ReplyDeleteDo my eyes deceive me? Has my vision gone hazy?
ReplyDeleteI guess it shouldn't surprise me that there are people this crazy.
Very nice. Yes, people do some crazy things - always a headshaker, for example, when you hear of another poor shmuck that thought he was superman and went for a leap. People trying to be masked vigilantes...they should realize they're just comics/movies for a reason...not a how-to manual. But some people never learn. Entertaining read.
ReplyDeleteha. there is a website where they can register...a friend sent it to me not too long ago...i was surprised at how many there really were...kinda scary actually...
ReplyDelete@Tricia - "Sweet homage" is one way to describe it for sure. :) I do think the intention is very noble and the costumes are adoreable. However...
ReplyDelete@Bryan and @cianphelan - It is definitely crazy. Like we all said, it doesn't even work out well in the movies for superhumans.
@Brian Miller - yes... the 2nd to last link above, labeled "keep your identity secret" will take you to the world superhero registry. Pretty amazing to see how many people are joining in. Scary too, although many of the profiles listed on that site state that they only do behind the scenes or volunteer type help. Many of them do not hit the streets seeking vigilante justice.
I think I might join the superhero registry.
ReplyDeleteQualifications?
You should see how fast I run when I see danger!
A blur moving rapidly in the other direction.
Love the verse and the meaning.
Terrific rhyming for so much to say! Good job! Thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDeletewhat ever happened to Nancy Drew? :)
ReplyDeletesome lovely touches.
That's crazy! I saw Kick Ass and wondered if it would inspire people. I figured if they really thought it through, they would reconsider. Perhaps, a documentary will be forthcoming :) This was a lot of fun. Enjoyed it!
ReplyDelete@Penny - Sure you don't want to use that speed to steal weapons from criminals? *wink*wink* :)
ReplyDelete@Alegria - I'm glad you enjoyed my rhyme. Hope you'll visit again sometime. :)
@baobabpapers - I think there are some superhero Nancy Drew types. With them I have a few less gripes. :)
@Lori - I actually noticed after I finished writing that some of the Superheroes have been around longer than the movie! Perhaps the writers knew they existed, wanted to give them hype and if anyone blamed them would say "sue me".
I already wear my underpants on the outside so I'm in baby!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhere do I sign?
Cheers A
Haha Alejandro. Somehow I think I knew you wore your undies on the outside. :-)
ReplyDeleteNicely written, Rachel. It's refreshing to come across somebody who isn't so dominated by the rhyming structure that she writes any old nonsense that will fit. Not one wasted word here. Class act!
ReplyDeleteRhyme, fun, message and STYLE -- seriously, what more do I need?!?! :)
ReplyDeleteTo me, you are my superhero(ine), Rachel.. the kind that can spin a poem in a flash!!! And a very fine one too!! :)
(hugs)
@Will - It's a lack of training that fuels my nonchalantness towards structure. :) I'm glad my desire to "just write" produces a product in which you delight. :)
ReplyDelete@Kavita - Awwww, I shed a happy tear knowing I'm your rhyming superheroine! You are one of my dearest poet blogging friends. :) *HUGS*
Kick Ass is my fave
ReplyDeleteof him I often rave!
But I agree its pretty odd
to walk into a fight so slipshod.
At the very least wear Hit Girl's vest
Or the maid will will be cleaning up quite a mess.
@azfree - I agree the vest is a must if you're going to dive in and help with a bust! :) Thanks for visiting. VERY cute rhyming comment. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat write and just chockful of mulling! Though I have to admit it makes me wonder if my perchance of putting underwear on my head and running around chasing villians may be a little bit weird...
ReplyDeletewow, another rich and well done dish to enjoy..
ReplyDeleteThanks for the thoughtful writing.
A++
I had no idea the RLSHs existed! I mean, I've heard of CosPlay and all that, but wow. :) This was an excellent tribute to people who may be a little quirky, but they mean well, and if they're making the world a better place then I am ALL for it! YAY for RLSHs!
ReplyDeleteI like the point about superheroes being strangely in disguise! I guess today many a hero would end up being sued by his apprehended baddie!
ReplyDeletehttp://jessicasjapes.wordpress.com/2011/02/28/sci-fi-hi/
love it, love the rhyme rachel.. nice! here's my potluck.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/cinderella-for-a-man/
ReplyDeleteFantastic piece, well done rhyme scheme carried throughout... floating a powerful message, a powerful thanks to those unsung 'super' heroes of everyday realities.
ReplyDelete@abthomas - Oh! So, you're one of them? A RLSH? :) Nah, couldn't be. Even they know underwear doen't go on your head!! :)
ReplyDelete@dragonkatet - I'm glad I could inform you of a cause you beleive in! :)
@jessica - Exactly! Some chump is bound to sue them merely because they aren't protected by a badge. Perhaps someone will invent superhero insurance? :)
@fiveloaf - thank you! Such kind words from the "winner" of the perfect peot award. :) Congrats!
@Reflections - I'm so glad my intended message came across so well. I do think this superhero stuff is a bit crazy, but also it is meaningful, heartfelt work for which I am thankful. :)