Thursday, February 2, 2012

Thursday Thoughts: Super Bowl Sunday

Tips for Super Bowl Dipsticks

Image by Idea Go via

This rhyme is dedicated to those new to Super Bowl Sunday.
I'm here to help make sure that you have a fun day.
So I did a bit of research and read some statistics
and came up with these tips for Super Bowl dipsticks.

If you're wondering, at these parties, what people like to eat,
it seems chicken wings, guacamole and chips can't be beat.
Just the guac consumed would spread twelve feet thick on the field.
(With chips and wings, how many full stadiums would that yield?)

If you're told that guests should bring something to drink,
remember people are much more predictable than you think.
Americans drink enough beer that day to fill 493 Olympic pools!
Those who bring non-beer to parties risk being called fools.

If you'd rather be the gal with the perfect parting gift
and can find a good deal on antacid super swift,
use that to help friends avoid the 20% post game sales surge
and fight the "I don't feel like going to work on Monday" urge.

You probably shouldn't speak of the bowl's carbon footprint,
but if, perhaps, you chose to rebel and drop a big fat hint...
310,000 tons of emissions are generated by Super Bowl Sunday.
That's actually enough to make most Americans feel bad, OK?

So, don't be a dipstick.  Bring or make guac, wings and beer.
Enjoy watching the game (and commercials) with those you hold dear.
Stock up on medicine you may need to recover from the party.
And, most importantly, try not to arrive tardy and make sure to root hardy!

© 2012 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

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  1. Some good rules and facts for superbowl day
    But it is always avoided my way
    Football and me
    Never go hand and hand at my sea

    1. I haven't watched in a while, which isn't really my style, but I like the party more than the game. :)

  2. What kind of "emissions" are we talking about here?
    It's hard to digest all those wings, chips, guacamole, and beer.

    1. All emissions sir! You CAN make a difference!! :P

  3. Hello Rachel.
    I'll be watching the game...wish it was the Eagles, but it'll still be a good game. The commercials will be funny too...they go all out with those.
    Very entertaining post.
    Thanks for sharing.

  4. We never go "all-out" for the Super Bowl, but I certainly go "all-out" for your clever and humorous poem about it! Wonderful, Rachel!
    And, may the best team win.
    Oh, and, could someone pass the guac?

  5. HAHA!!! Well all that... and don't forget Superbowl CHILI. ;)

  6. Wish I caught this post earlier! A great poem...very fun! Though it did successfully make me hungry! ;)


Rhyming or not, I would like a lot to hear the thoughts my words brought...