Friday, September 14, 2012

Friday Fun - Larry Flynt's Bounty for Mitt's Tax Returns

Mr. Larry Flynt, Teller of Turpitude, King of Horny,
You finally did something to bring me to my knees.
My jaw dropped open when I saw the cash bounty
being offered for the tax info on Mr. Mitt Romney
(who should have given us this information for free
to back up his supposed integrity).

I didn't know you'd helped unearth so much dirt,
in the past on politicians who did more than flirt,
although it seems you don't always blab or blurt,
the truth to the public which makes me feel hurt.
When you engage the public by dangling rewards;
asking janitors, clerks, bellmen, and security guards,
to show you their hands, then muck your cards,
you seem slipperier than banana peels, yet tougher than gourds.
I believe you are right that six degrees of separation,
could bring figures and facts on the financial fornication,
that is rampant among the Richie Rich's of the nation,
and could curtail one candidate's clout, hardly in gestation.
If loose lips come to you, your lips should be loose too.
Yet why should I have to say that to one as experienced as you?
Why wouldn't you want to spill the beans and screw
Romney's chances? I'm sure this time you'll spew.
May your lips find loose friends and show them love, truth bomb style!
Rachel Hoyt
of Rhyme Me a Smile
© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved
(For more information
on this news that brought me elation,
click here or here without hesitation.)
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Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -
poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back


  1. Yeah, the whole thing sounds a little sleazy,
    and finding that kind of info can't be easy.

    (I miss the photo puzzles, btw.)

    1. I think the right guy is on the job.
      He can get to those who know, who hob nob,
      with those who could afford to buy a gold blob.


      (I'm hoping to try to bring the riddles back later this year or in 2013. I was having lots of trouble coming up with good objects to abstractify. So, as soon as I can compile a series of photos worth rhyming riddles about, the game will be back on. OK?)

  2. Very interesting post my friend. Never knew this. Thanks for sharing and will be looking forward to the new riddle season (smile).

    1. Hello Andy! I'm glad you learned something new. :) I just started taking some abstract photos again finally... :) Life was really busy there for a while.

  3. Good poem. I hope he gets some juicy stuff!

    1. Thank you, Madeleine! I hope he gets some juicy stuff too. :)

  4. I don't know how you do it, Rachel! You take a hotly debated political topic and turn it into entertaining poetic verse. Oh. Yeah. Talent!

    1. Thank you, Kim! I tried to boil it down to the essential message... if you're going to dig for that dirt and advertise that you're digging, you better dish it when you find it! :)


Rhyming or not, I would like a lot to hear the thoughts my words brought...