Thursday, September 27, 2012

Thursday Thoughts - Phantom Vibrations

Vibeadonna Syndrome
by Rachel Hoyt
 
image by chawalitpix via freedigitalphotos.net
 

Last night, I felt a phantom vibe,
Tingle my leg, tickle my hide.
It buzzed right through me all night long -
Buzz, buzz - a tweet? text? email? WRONG!
All night long, phantom vibes like gongs:
What if Susie tweeted 'bout a party?
What if Lucy's 'liking' ev'ry post by Benji?
What if Hailey Hollywood fumbled again?
What if I miss pictures of cats sexy men?
What if my friends start to think I am boring?
What if I lose part of my following?
What if I need to change my profile picture?
What if words were blabbed that deserve my stricture?
What if this phantom vibe causes a twitch?
What if it also starts to make me itch?
What if the vibes become phantom thoughts?
What if I acted on whatifs and whatnots?
What if I put my cell phone down on the shelf?
What if I try being happy, all by myself?

I believed those last wise whatifs,
And briefly felt their peaceful bliss,
'Til Tammy came to say that Shelly and Shelby,
Were breaking up on Twitter! That I had to see.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved
 
 
Inspired by Shel Silverstein's poem, "Whatif",
an article on phantom vibrations,
 
 
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Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -
poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.

18 comments:

  1. Phantom vibes. First world problems. LOL
    And yes, I suffer from them also.

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    1. Hey. If those phantom vibes make us all more insane, then they are a top world problem! LOL.

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  2. I love it!!! We are so consumed, that it feels strange to be without all our devices. I think they've become so addictive. What did we do before cell phones and the internet??? haha

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    1. I hope you were posting this comment via your mobile device! :) hehe

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  3. I seriously suffer from this - my phone(s) seem(s) to give me phantom vibes at least five times a day. Even when it's not in my pocket! Scary. Great poem, and very true.

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    1. I always hear mine when it's not ringing too. It's aggravating! Glad you liked the poem. :)

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  4. Very funny and very true, some good what ifs at the end there. I try and leave my phone out my pocket as much as possible and have it screen down on my shelf, so it can't look me in the eyes :)

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    1. Sounds like some good cell phone habits, Mark. :) I turn the auto sync off on mine and set it down far away when I need a break. That eliminates 99.7% of the buzzes. :)

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  5. It is quite the impulse--loved your what-ifs especially since they were a riffs from rhyming Uncle Shelby, I adore that man :-)

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    1. Thank you SaraV. I too love Uncle Shelby. :)

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  6. haha what has the world come to...when we must check every vibe that hits our butt...i am ready to go back to house phones and you can only reach me when i am there and if i want to answer...smiles.

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    1. It is good to treat your cell phone like an old school home phone sometimes. :)

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  7. fun piece. great job emulating shel. With all the technology today, I often wonder how the heck it's all tracked. I do twitter, pinterest and my blogs, and that's hard enough to track sometime lol and yeah, there's this completely dysfunctional calling to check things, what has changed, need changing etc.. fun read

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it, Fred. We do live in an interesting age. I'm sure they're tracking our activities everywhere online too... mostly to know what to try to sell us. :P

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  8. Rachel~
    You've created a mantra for a generation here. Anyone under 30 ( and many above) would benefit from the inherent wisdom here.

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    1. Thank you, Kim! I will try to spread the mantra. :)

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Rhyming or not, I would like a lot to hear the thoughts my words brought...