Valley Speak is Spreading to Men?

Valley Boys

by Rachel Hoyt

image by porbital via freedigitalphotos.net

Oh em gee - 

How could it be?

A change in masculinity?

Like, what's the deal?

Is this for real?

Could valley speak have mass appeal?

You're joking, right?

Get out of sight!

Upspeak implies a lack of might.

As if, you know...

Like, dude, bro...

Male voices aren't all loud and low?

Copyright © 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

According to a new study, more California men

are speaking with an upward tone like I did way back when.

Technorati Tags: Men, California, Poem, Rhyme, Voice, Poetry

How Will Southern California Survive This Chilly Winter?

So. Cal. Chill

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by James Barker via freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

It's so cold I had to dry

my hair completely and then lie

to my boss about why I

was late on this important date.

 

It's so cold I had to pull

socks on my feet and wished for wool

although I felt like a big fool

wearing white socks with Birkenstocks.

 

It's so cold I had to change

my sheets to flannel (which felt strange)

and move my bed far out of range

of the chill which spills from my windowsill.

 

It's so cold I had to heat

up my food so I could eat

and stop the teeth chattering beat

accompanying my mind's whining.

 

Copyright © 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Cold, Weather, Poem, Rhyme, Weird, Poetry

It may feel cold, but we should hear

how silly we sound to certain ears.

 

Wacky Word Wednesday - Yen

Yen

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Stuart Miles via freedigitalphotos.net

When you have a yen

you need, don't feel Zen.

Craving level ten?

That want is a yen.

Copyright © 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

 

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

 

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Yen, Poetry

Wacky Word Monday - Bacchanal

Bacchanal

(BAK uh nal)

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by JanPietruskzka via freedigitalphotos.net

 

At a bacchanal

it is hard to tell

who's ill and who's well

for alcohol's spell

dings the crowd's bell

at a boisterous bacchanal.

 

© 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

 

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

 

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Bacchanal, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - On Moving to Mars

Red Light, Red Planet

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by Victor Habbick via freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

I will not pay five dollars for

a roll in your next show,

To leave my planet evermore -

You should beg me to go.

 

Although force feeding vegan food

might help my health a bit,

Nothing can make the Mars dust good -

For tat we know no tit.

Crater hopping sure does sound fun,

but dodging asteroids?

That space suit best be made to run

and locate nearby voids,

like the ones where your cameras

will be properly placed

to record gruesome last hurrahs

without being erased.

 

I'll save my dreams for the next flight,

planet, or galaxy -

The profit sharing seems not right,

I would rather stay free.

 

© 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved

 

Thousands have applied to die on Mars.
Do you think it's because they want spaceships, not cars?

Technorati Tags: Space, Mars, Explore, Poem, Rhyme, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - Smart Phone Apps and Technological Advances

The Workey Jerkey

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Victor Habbick via freedigitalphotos.net

You put a gadget in,

You pull part of a job out,

You put a gadget in,

Then you shake the gigs about -

You do the Workey Jerkey

As the world spins round and round -

That's what work's all about!

You put some software in,

You pull more humans out,

You put more software in,

Crunch and shake brain cells about -

You do the Workey Jerkey

As the world spins round and round -

That's what work's all about!

You put a robot in,

You take multiple jobs out,

You put a robot in,

The economy swings about -

You do the Workey Jerkey

As the world spins round and round -

That's what work's all about!

 

© 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

 

 

 

We can't be inconvenienced to diagnose our ills,

And desire same day delivery to increase our shopping thrills,

Then wonder why we have no money to pay the bills.

How do we expect to fix the recession

if robots are required for our world's progression?

 

 

Technorati Tags: Robot, Jobs, jobs, Poem, Rhyme, Poetry

Wacky Word Wednesday - Effrontery

Effrontery

(eff rhunt er ee)

 

by Rachel Hoyt

 

 

photo by imagerymagestic via freedigitalphotos.net

 

An act of effrontery

Has ample audacity,

Resembles skulduggery,

Is often perfunctory,

And does not intentionally

Inhibit your joy selfishly -

Effrontery.

 

© 2013 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

 

 

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Effrontery, Poetry

 

Thursday Thoughts - Survival Pod

My Posh Pod

by Rachel Hoyt

 

The walls would be navy

with sparkles attached

and padded so comfy

that new dreams would hatch

while everything outside

just crumbles and melts

and my smug, non-chapped hide

enjoys petting felt.

If I spent a million

or more to survive,

that saving dominion

would comfort and guide.

No pod pink slip will wear

my name in dry ink

until it can compare

to a human link.

With soft straps to hug me

and knowledge to teach,

my pod 'pop' would be the

dream cash helped me reach.

 

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved

Many are planning and building, hoping they survive

the end of the world... but would you want to be alive?

Technorati Tags: Pod, Doomsday, Survive, Rhyme, Poetry

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Wacky Word Wednesday - Bibelot

Bibelot

(BIB loh)

 

by Rachel Hoyt

image by sippakorn via freedigitalphotos.com

 

You buy a bibelot

not for show,

but because you know,

inside it can stow

memories to make you glow.

Beloved knick-knacks from abroad are bibelots.

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Bibelot, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - Judges and Creative Sentencing

Judge Shamus

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

 

If you dare deface my town,

I will dress you as a clown.

If you steal from the needy,

You'll be temp-tattooed 'Greedy'.

If you ditch cats in the cold,

You'll sleep where there's no stronghold.

I seek an eye for an eye,

Creatively, on the fly.

You may think that I am cruel,

But only you make you a fool.

I just flaunt your foolishness

And shame you with my wittiness.

 

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.
 

 

This poem is about creative judges

who bravely risk reputation smudges

by creatively sentencing to help some learn

in life reputation is something you earn.

 

Technorati Tags: Creative, Judge, Sentencing, Rhyme, Poetry

 

 

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back

Wacky Word Wednesday - Izzat

Izzat

(IZ ut)

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Danilo Rizzuti via freedigitalphotos.net

Izzat

is not a nut,

but lives in your gut,

in your soul's hut -

to insults it says, "What?!

I'm no stray mutt,

nor ghost of King Tut.

I'm me, like you but

with more honor, izzat."

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Izzat, Poetry

Wacky Word Wednesday - Flagitious

Flagitious

(fluh JISH uhs)

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by digitalart via freedigitalphotos.net

Someone who's flagitious

might flash the religious

befriend the bibulous,

and compile fruits quite frivolous -

be wicked, criminal, ridiculous -

that's being flagitious.

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Flagitious, Poetry

Wacky Word Wednesday - Clowder

Clowder

(CLOU dur)

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by Vlado via freedigitalphotos.net

 

If you had a clowder,

your life would be louder,

maybe you'd feel prouder...

but please don't feed them chowder.

On feeding dairy to cats, I'm no lauder

and a cluster of cats is a clowder.

No wise one feeds his clowder chowder.

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.
Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Clowder, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - Phantom Vibrations

Vibeadonna Syndrome

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by chawalitpix via freedigitalphotos.net

 

Last night, I felt a phantom vibe,

Tingle my leg, tickle my hide.

It buzzed right through me all night long -

Buzz, buzz - a tweet? text? email? WRONG!

All night long, phantom vibes like gongs:

What if Susie tweeted 'bout a party?

What if Lucy's 'liking' ev'ry post by Benji?

What if Hailey Hollywood fumbled again?

What if I miss pictures of cats sexy men?

What if my friends start to think I am boring?

What if I lose part of my following?

What if I need to change my profile picture?

What if words were blabbed that deserve my stricture?

What if this phantom vibe causes a twitch?

What if it also starts to make me itch?

What if the vibes become phantom thoughts?

What if I acted on whatifs and whatnots?

What if I put my cell phone down on the shelf?

What if I try being happy, all by myself?

I believed those last wise whatifs,

And briefly felt their peaceful bliss,

'Til Tammy came to say that Shelly and Shelby,

Were breaking up on Twitter! That I had to see.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved

 

 

Inspired by Shel Silverstein's poem, "Whatif",

an article on phantom vibrations,

and this article on the neurological benefits of talking about oneself.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Cell, Phone, Vibrate, Rhyme, Poetry

 

 

 

Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -

poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.

Wacky Word Wednesday - Nescient

Nescient

(neh shent)

by Rachel Hoyt

 

image by Stuart Miles via freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

One described as nescient,

Is quite UN-omniscient,

He or she is ign'rant,

With knowledge so NOT pregnant,

And not so reminiscent -

Aptly described as nescient.

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

 

 

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Eristic, Poetry

Wacky Word Wednesday - Jactation

Jactation
by Rachel Hoyt

image by photostock via freedigitalphotos.net

A fanfaron is known for jactation.

Whether at home, work, or on vacation,

he or she boasts without pause or hesitation.

That's why fanfaron's are known for jactation.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

 

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.
And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Jactation, Poetry

Wacky Word Wednesday - Pleonasm

Pleonasm

by Rachel Hoyt

image by digitalart via freedigitalphotos.net

A pleonasm

is like a mouth orgasm,

a tip of the tongue spasm,

or redundant sarcasm -

pleonasm.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Augury, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - Vending Machines and Robot Domination

Dear vending machine inventors and clever ad agencies,

Think about what you are doing to the world with your work, please.

It seems the new trend is to engage the customer with the machine,

but exploiting love for junk food at this level seems plain mean.

There's the one in Singapore that gives out a free Coke for a hug,

or the traveling machine that spits out free chips when you cut the rug,

or the beer granting, coin eating, rugby tackle requiring box -

three machines which treat humanity like we're all dumb as rocks.

While there are the many who live life happily ignorant

of the psychological effects for which such advertising is meant,

I, for one, know that you will benefit long after that day

when the long hidden happy memories come into play.

When feeling blue, they may look back upon the joy

they found interacting with your junk food dispensing toy

and reach for that same snack to help soothe their pain

only to experience undesired weight gain.

I know what you'll say. "Watch the videos.  They love it!"

I am familiar with your tactic, but wish you were above it.

At the very least could you post some nutritional info?

The calories burned while earning the treat could also show?

You stand to gain much by getting the people to play your game,

so spread honest facts now before you are the ones they blame

for their vast lack of happiness and plethora of fat cells -

the obvious result of your machine's powerful spells.

May your robots be kind and spread joy in style!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.


Technorati Tags: Junk Food, Vending, Robot, Marketing, Poetry


Read more rhymes by Rachel at her new column, Clickety Clack -
poetic news about Santa Barbarians talking back.

Thursday Thoughts - Computer Glitches and Ronald Page

image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

Dear Ronald Page of Detroit,

I hear you had quite an exploit

because one ATM functioned quite maladroit.

One might wonder if it was programmed to fail

at discerning who's a buffoon and who's a whale

though it need only check one basic fact:

is this account cash empty or packed?

I never thought I'd live to see a crime

that resembled that "pennies for everyone" line

that Peter Gibbons used in Office Space

to justify the great big smile on his face

caused by a purposeful computer glitch

which succeeded, though with a small hitch.

When you realized you could continue withdrawing

cash despite a negative balance (quite appalling)

did you think that it must be "cash for free day"?

A special, one time gift to gamble away?

That fate had finally sent your reward

so during retirement you wouldn't be bored?

I know we all thought those government bailouts

would eventually help the people's worries and pouts,

but I don't think that the government intended

for lending practices to be quite this amended

or for one guy to get 1.5 million for free

while nothing trickles down to the masses (and me).

And, call me crazy, but I think every human knows

if they can afford to use dollars to blow their nose.

So, who is the Milton in this wacky scenario

helping lessen your time in jail (if you go)?

Did you steal his coveted Swingline

stapler which makes days more sublime?

I can't imagine another good reason why

anyone would defend your silent outcry

for a more lavish retirement fund...

but the prosecution did.  I'm stunned!

Then again, there's no chance for restitution

if you're in jail or a mental institution...

So much for retiring in style!

Good luck!

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.


Read the news that inspired the rhyme here.


Technorati Tags: Gambling, ATM, Humor, Rhyme, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - On BPAs, Plastic and Packaged Food

Dearest Prince of Plastic,

It would be really fantastic

(though it may sound drastic)

if you could banish fakery,

poverty, slavery and trickery

in your kingdom of plasticity.

I heard about these BPAs

and their evil infectious ways,

but just realized in recent days

that it's in, on or near everything I buy!

Why must BPAs haunt and taunt me?  Why?!

The tupperware I bought isn't safe enough

to heat food in and extra dish work is rough.

And what about all those convenience foods?

Is anything wrapped in plastic safe dudes?

Those BPAs could really alter our moods...

I'm a single gal with little time to cook

who tries to eat healthy but can still, with one look,

count ten or more suspicious items within view

that might have BPAs that could harm you.

How can I know if my fears are true?

Since the FDA won't stand up for us (Who's to gain?),

I thought you could bless your kingdom and wane

the use of low quality plastics that cause us pain.

There must be some other, better use to suit their style.

Perhaps you could just put them on welfare for a while?

Thanks for your help!

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: BPA, Plastic, Rhyme, Humor, News, Poetry