Sunday, June 26, 2011

Custom Rewards Can Fulfill Dreams of Gourds

Image by Pixomar via

I would love to get some of my kicks in life
by causing my credit card company strife.
I've recently learned some now offer custom rewards.
I can make them buy me copper or gourds?!
I could request a free cattle drive experience
or try anti-gravity to build my resilience.
I could sail around the world on a yacht
all because I charged many things that I bought.

I could finally get that Wii I've wanted
or the concert tickets that have taunted.
I could get an entire herd of goats
or pay to construct multiple moats.
I could myself a mountain of fine cheese
or nearly anything else that I please...
If I just charge thousands on my card,
achieving my dreams will be a little less hard.

I could finally take that long planned trip
where I will indulge in a Dead Sea dip.
I could see the famous Galapagos Islands
or the stars at the Hollywood Highlands.
I guess I could pay for all of this myself
if I'd stash some coins in that jar on my shelf,
but getting it from them is so much more fun!
That's what makes my card like a loaded gun.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.


  1. Just a little bit more
    And you have enough points to take a 5 state tour
    Oh but did we mention you'll be paying fees monthly up the bum
    Paying for the trip 10 times over
    When really you could have worked less walking rover
    Tear them up and rip them to shreds
    Don't pay for cars, gummi bears or beds
    As they are nothing but a trap
    Oh but wait we'll raise your limit so more on it you can slap

  2. True, we got to be careful we don't overspend and think we have everything we desire but we are stuck in debts.

    As usual, Pat's comments are entertaining to read ~

  3. Another reason why I have 1(one,uno)credit card, and it gets paid off EVERY month! If I don't need it, I don't buy it and if I do need it, I pay cash. The credit card companies can temp me all they want with their special offers and rewards, but they can all just kiss my A**!!

  4. Why would you want to swim
    in the Dead Sea of all places?
    It's saltier than a pretzel
    and think how nasty the taste is.

  5. That's quite a tongue -in-cheek take on the method in the madness of the credit card traps that they build around us. Amazing what great fools we make of ourselves for that "fun" factor.

  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  7. @Pat - I shouldn't buy my gummy bears on credit?! Now you tell me! LOL :)

    @Heaven - I agree. Pat's comments are entertaining to read. I'm glad you enjoyed my rhyme as well. :)

    @Wanda - It took me a while to get back to it, but I only have ONE credit card as well and it gets paid off every month. Take that big business!!! I do have a different monthly payment that helped make that happen though... :)

    @Bryan - I'm not going to drink the Dead Sea! LOL. Tons of people soak in it because the minerals in the water are really good for your skin. :)

    @Nadira - Thanks! I definitely appreciate my credit card rewards, but it's a bit funny to me the direction they've gone. I can't imagine charging enough to get one of those rewards though. It takes me a year just to earn a $50 Macys gift card. :)

    @Atypical Scott - Sorry, but I deleted your comment and am re-posting it here (below). (No swearing in the comments section please.)

    Atypical Scott said...
    Due to unjust bill collectors, anything smart and witty and possibly a little gritty was wrangled up by a man claiming to be "Steve Smith" with regards to your credit card rhyme. I thought it might have been a hit had it not been for this little smarmy ----. Speaking of which, have you read the latest Atypical Read in which I too offer something new? I think you should, and you and you and you and you too.

    June 27, 2011 2:35 PM

    P.S. I did start to read your latest post, Scott... but it made me a little nautious and I had to stop reading. I'm hoping there was a happy ending?

  8. Oh the joys when I had a credit card. Now I just have a piggy bank and it don't give me any rewards with interest.


  9. I must be successful...I owe everbody money.

  10. Here's hoping you achieve your dreams.

  11. I like your blog...need followers fro mine...please join me..

  12. my blog is

    Sorry about the fingers move to fast...

    Have a wonderful day!

  13. HAHAHA!!! I love it!!! It is so very true. ;)

  14. I really enjoyed this a lot - thanks for making me smile. :)

  15. @Alejandro - Is it a star wars piggy bank? :)

    @Jim - LOL. Uhm, I think you missed the message. :)

    @booguloo - a sincere thank you. :)

    @Debi - Thanks for stopping by! I'll come to your blog soon to say hi.

    @Farfalla Dreams - Glad you enjoyed my reward ideas! Hehe.

    @Jo Bryant - You're quite welcome for the smile. Hope it stuck for a while! :)

  16. I swore? I thought I left those at the door. I shall try to remain G rated or refuse to have my thoughts further stated. It's just rhyming can be somewhat trying, however, I will adhere so that we all can relate in this branch of the blogosphere.

  17. @Atypical Scott - It was just one silly little word. I don't know why I care since I swear like a pirate in real life, but I'm trying to keep the page clean of it. Also, if it makes you feel better, I couldn't think of a substitute rhyme word to put there! :)

  18. "my card like a loaded gun." lol so true they really are. This is hilarious! I've never owned a credit card and the world is a safer place for it, one last mad woman on a shooting spree

  19. @mindlovesmisery - Never owned a credit card?! Obviously you aren't American. (pun intended) :)


Rhyming or not, I would like a lot to hear the thoughts my words brought...