Techno Brains

Image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

I remember my mom's first Palm Pilot.

We all joked that she'd bought

a better brain; coherent thought.

Now our "brains" are bigger and faster.

The cell phone has become our master.

We rely on it to save us from disaster.

Talking while walking, you can't look before

crossing the street - is danger in store?

A phone app can alert you to that which you ignore.

You also don't need a detective

to determine if your spouse defected.

Find my phone app = location detected.

Never worry about drunk dialing again.

Let the Designated Dialer decide when

your hands are too shaky to call a "friend".

And when teens and technology start driving you nuts,

and you need a phone app's help (and have guts),

get the Annoy a Teen app!  It's fun - no ifs, ands, or buts!

Never again waste time thinking independently!

If there's no app yet, there'll be one eventually.

Techno brains will rule some day... inevitably!

© 2011 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

 

Technorati Tags: Technology, Phone, Brain, Humor, Sarcasm, Poetry

Perky Turkey Talk

If I was not a meat eater at this time of year

I would wish for my own pet wild turkey.

I'd train him to be nice but make people fear

eating tofurkey without looking perky.

Turkeys may drop dead from deafening noise

and risk drowning themselves in the rain,

but if Ben Franklin had gotten his first bird choice

they would be too patriotic to be slain.

Their survival instincts have saved them thus far.

Or, is it their ability to reproduce repeatedly?

When you gobble to announce proudly who you are

is it fair to wonder, "Why oh why would they eat me?"

© 2011 - All rights reserved - Rachel Hoyt

 

Technorati Tags: Thanksgiving, turkey, Tofurkey, Humor, Muppets, Poetry

Josh from "Its Tiger Time" invented You Tube Tuesday so we could each share one video a week which we found to be fun, inspiring or otherwise noteworthy.  If you choose to participate, don't forget to leave your links in my comments section (so I can come visit you) and on Josh's page (so you can be part of the contest).

Say Nope-a to SOPA

Image by jscreationzs via freedigitalphotos.net

The Internet has given us reasons to smile, laugh and cheer,

but also causes its fair share of crimes, squabbles and sneers.

It's no surprise there is a push to regulate pirating goons,

but what about the other world wide web wandering buffoons?

We tolerate Facebook groups that help spread chicken pox.

We "allow" compromising photos of celebrities and jocks.

We find our enemies and their fans trash talking and plotting.

We track the life of fast food that's not molding while rotting.

This information highway we share with the world

has caused our lives to be twisted and twirled

into a simmering supernova of opinions and ideas.

more valuable than all of the world's pizzerias.

Don't give Hollywood the power to flip the switch

on the websites making them a little less rich.

Their crack down might make an interesting movie plot,

but their ideas fail in reality more often than not.

© 2011 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Technorati Tags: Entertainment, Internet, Censorship, Humor, Opinion, Poetry

Turn Up the Tomfoolery

When Tim Ferriss isn't teaching us how to gain muscle mass fast or work less hours,
he does things like this tomfoolery with his knowledge and powers.

I've been feeling that my life, lately,

could use a bit more tomfoolery.

The harder you work the more you need play,

so why not learn a new fun trick today?

It may not be cool to pull rabbits from top hats,

but it could be hip to hypnotize cranky cats.

And who doesn't like a good table side trick?

Some use silverware to look funny and slick.

Some celebrate other countries' holidays

to indulge their creative and silly ways.

Some pose silly for pictures they'll pose online.

(I do it to - to prove I've had a good time.)

Really, those moments of silliness are the best.

For me they hold the power to wipe out the rest.

I fear that my skills are lacking.  How about yours?

Shall we both add "learn new tricks" to our list of chores?

I don't know if I'll master the spoon-fork trick above,

but I'll try if I find some silverware I don't love.

I think the "not peeling" your hard boiled eggs secret

is a trick I could learn with less bodily harm and regret.

If I came across a blow horn rigged door,
it's likely I'd fall in fear to the floor.
Hopefully, I would laugh it off in the end
and be thankful to share a smile with a friend!

© 2011 - all rights reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Technorati Tags: Entertainment, Blogging, Video, Humor, Tricks, Poetry

I've shared this poem at the D'Verse Poets Pub -
my favorite place to drink poetry up - glug, glug.

Josh from "Its Tiger Time" invented You Tube Tuesday so we could each share one video a week which we found to be fun, inspiring or otherwise noteworthy.  If you choose to participate, don't forget to leave your links in my comments section (so I can come visit you) and on Josh's page (so you can be part of the contest).

Bacteria Face

image by digitalart via freedigitalphotos.net

This week the White House responded to our petition

where we demanded public recognition

of any knowledge of life other life forms,

space land happenings beyond the norm,

but, not surprisingly, they said they know nothing.

Most of us don't believe they haven't seen a thing.

We keep discovering new planets and stars

and soon we're shipping some germs to Mars.

Is it really possible we haven't seen

any aliens anywhere, be they not green?

Are they trying to create little martian men

by flinging bits of ourselves into space now and then?

It wasn't long after the White House announcement

that I heard about where the germs will be sent.

I wonder if they planned it all in one meeting?

Do they ever indulge wacky thoughts that are fleeting?

"Hey guys.  After we tell the people there's no life in outer space,

want to launch some bacteria and see if it turns into a face?"

Copyright © 2011 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Technorati Tags: Space, Aliens, White House, Humor, Opinion, Poetry

Trippy Transportation

My friend Jim got me thinking about transportation;

the wondrously weird ways we've gotten 'round in this nation.

I discovered this top ten list that will likely astound you.

In fact, there are a few that might actually dumbfound you.

I applaud them all for their bold expression of creativity

and boldly driving their crazy crafts where all the world can see.

© 2011 - all rights reserved - Rachel Hoyt

I'm sharing this rhyme in Holes in My Soles's Magnificent Monday

and also with the group that enjoys You Tube Tuesday fun day.

Josh from "Its Tiger Time" invented You Tube Tuesday so we could each share one video a week which we found to be fun, inspiring or otherwise noteworthy.  If you choose to participate, don't forget to leave your links in my comments section (so I can come visit you) and on Josh's page (so you can be part of the contest).

Jelly Bean Animator

A woman was famous worldwide
and wanted to take a wild ride.
She felt a call to create
To jelly bean animate
and did something that no one else tried.

© 2011 - all rights reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Technorati Tags: Entertainment, Jelly Bean, Animation, Creative, Limerick, Poetry

This rhyme was written for Mad Kane's limerick contest.
Come on over to read or participate.  Her blog is one of the best!

Daylight Saving Time Rhyme

image by Paul via freedigitalphotos.net

I grew up in Arizona, scoffing Daylight Saving Time.

(That's right.  There's no "s".  I spelled that just fine.)

The "zonies" and Hopi opted out of the plan,

while the Navajo signed on as a time change fan.

Their tribe owns a donut shaped piece of my state.

I guess taking a bite out of both was my fate.

I now live in California and love to ride on the train,

but time change rules make taking Amtrack lame.

At 2:00 AM each fall the trains sit an hour on the line

because they can't leave earlier than the time on the sign.

I'm glad I've never ridden the train on "that night".

I bet the commotion would be quite a sight.

Growing up in the fifties would have been worse.

Time zones changed faster than a pirate can curse.

Back then, each individual locality could decide

the start and stop times to which they each would abide.

Iowa had 23 different DST "zones" one year.

Now THAT is the old school definition of queer.

It is still almost that crazy on our southernmost continent.

Each study team keeps time with the place from which they're sent.

When you live in a place that flips from constant light to darkness,

it's no doubt your sleep patterns will become a mess.

Plus, it's too cold and windy to visit your neighbors,

so you might as well keep time with those supporting your labors.

I wonder how many different time zones this rhyme will be read in?

Or if anyone will finish reading "before" they begin?
I hope all this time juggling is actually saving energy
because it causes many issues much easier to see.
In the spring we lose sleep, in the fall we gain darkness,
and in the process we create much much silliness.

© 2011 - all rights reserved - Rachel Hoyt


Don't forget to turn your clocks back this Sunday.
If you live in the U.S., November 6th is the day!

Technorati Tags: Entertainment, Daylight Saving Time, Humor, Poem, Poetry

Smiley Sociology Study #10 - Doors and Windows

Photo via Samuelmichaels.com - an excellent UK photographer
They say when one door closes a window opens.

That's the theme for the study this month my friends.

You can regale me with examples of this proverb come true,

be it about another or something that happened to you.

You could share photos of beautiful windows and doors

including pathways leading to them and pretty floors.

You can trace the history of that phrase and it's validity

or dream up another way to fit the theme and surprise me.

You have the month of November to post something link in.

Let the Smiley Sociology Study fun begin!

Next month, after I've analyzed all your posts,

I'll write my own rhyme and link to the entries I liked most.

Non rhyming directions for the poetry challenged:

(1) Create a new post about doors and windows or link to one that was already on your blog. Please note: your post does not need to be poetic or rhyming. All styles of blogs are welcome as long as their post is about doors and windows.

(2) Please include a link back to the Smiley Sociology Study within your post to help spread the word about the link exchange. The more "data" / posts I have to peruse, the better pseudo sociological results I can produce!

(3) copy the link for that post and paste link into Mister Linky below.
Please link directly to the post you want to share, not to your home page.
I will delete your link from the study if I cannot find a post about doors and windows to link to directly.

(4) leave a comment here to let me know you've posted a link

(5) read links left by others and tell them (nicely) what you think