A Double Limerick for Dowsers

The Dowser

by Rachel Hoyt

A farmer was pondering his crops,

wondering how much the drought would chop,

when appeared a man

with wands in both hands -

a drip who claimed he felt the drops.

The farmer refused to believe

the honesty of his blind weave

until his wand struck

a hydrant, by luck,

and he said, "Plant here - a tough sieve."

Copyright © 2014 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Some California farmers are trying everything they can

to find water from somewhere other than The Man.

Technorati Tags: Dowser, Water, Poem, Rhyme, California, Poetry

Sunday Fun Day - Sweat Mopping Limerick

Smells Like Olympic Spirit

by Rachel Hoyt

image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

A fellow was asked to explain
Why he'd made sweat mopping his game.
"I wanted to know
I was in the show
And smell the action, glory, and fame."

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Game, Abstract Photo, Rhyme, Humor, Guess, Poetry

This poem was written for Mad Kane's Limerick-Off contest,

inspired by sweat mopping news, and written in jest.

Sunday Fun Day - Tweeting the Breeze Limerick

Tweeting the Breeze

by Rachel Hoyt

Updates

A fellow was shooting the breeze

on Twitter where he felt at ease

to school a rapper

who was quite a yapper.

"First million's tough? Try billion, please."

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Written for MadKane's limerick contest

click on over to read all the rest.

Sunday Fun Day - Rock Eating Limerick

Rockin' Taste

by Rachel Hoyt

A woman who tried to persuade
her taste buds not to feel betrayed,
said, "Rocks taste earthy 

and crispy crunchy.
They're the best free snack nature made!"

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme was written for Mad-Kane's Limerick-Off,

where the humor will make you giggle and snicker, not scoff,

and inspired by the news linked to above and right here

about a woman who eats whatever rocks lie near.

Technorati Tags: Rocks, Eating, News, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

Sunday Surprise - Crazy Crime Limerick

Moo Crimes

by Rachel Hoyt

Image by Luigi Diamanti via freedigitalphotos.net

A guy had a notable knack

For stealing himself a milk snack.

He dressed like a cow

And crawled out with a wow -

An udderly simple sneak attack.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme was written for Mad Kane's Limerick-Off

where the punch lines will make you snicker, not scoff.

Sunday Surprise - Dumb Criminal Limerick

Whoa!  Woe.

by Rachel Hoyt

Image by chawalitpix via freedigitalphotos.com

A man was recounting his woes,

The fact that he stupidly chose,

To pocket his phone

Although he'd known

It loves the cops like a brown nose.

He had noticed a few butt dials

But didn't fear criminal trials

'Til he heard ding-dong

And before too long

Came to face the police men's smug smiles.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme was written for Mad Kane's Woebegone Limerick Off

and because this idiot car thief article made me laugh my arse off!

Technorati Tags:  Dumb Criminal, Butt Dial, Police, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - Pinching and the Leprechaun Defense

Leprechaun-itis

by Rachel Hoyt

Learn how to draw a leprechaun at Andertoons.

Image © 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

A fellow named Pat liked to pinch

And found sneaking it was a cinch

Around the office

If he was cautious

And no one saw his fancy flinch.

But after five years of wincing

About phantom finger pinching

The gals around work

Pledged to find the jerk

Causing dreadful derriere dimpling.

It didn't take long to see that

The most likely culprit was Pat.

So they turned him in,

To H.R. boss, Finn,

Who said he'd stop the pinching brat.

But the thing that no one foresaw,

The defense that left all in awe -

"Leprechaun-itis

makes me pinch like this.

Been doing it since birth. Ask my ma."

Poem "Leprechaun-itis" © 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

So... why do we pinch people on St. Patrick's Day?
Click here for the reasons why we act that way.

Technorati Tags: Leprechaun, Pinch, St. Patrick's Day, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

YTT - Shortest St. Patrick's Day Parade

98 Foot Long Parade

by Rachel Hoyt

A fellow impressed by Elvis

And parades where themes are remiss

Picked the shortest street

In Hot Springs to meet

And made ninety-eight feet of bliss.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Josh from "Its Tiger Time" invented You Tube Tuesday so we could each share one video a week which we found to be fun, inspiring or otherwise noteworthy. If you choose to participate, don't forget to leave your links in my comments section (so I can come visit you) and on Josh's page (so you can be part of the contest). I hope you enjoyed this week's selection!

Technorati Tags: Parade, St. Patrick, Rhyme, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

Monday Mumbles - Clovers and Shamrocks

Locket Limerick

by Rachel Hoyt

A fellow filled a gold locket

With a three-leaf clover he picked

Then added a fourth

Leaf for luck and worth

To join faith, hope and love in the trinket.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Learn more about clovers at wisegeek.com.

Technorati Tags: Clover, Shamrock, Limerick, Poem, Rhyme, Teaching, Poetry

Sunday Fun Day - Shrill Limerick on Women and Men

Smiles from Frowning

by Rachel Hoyt

Image by bulldogza via freedigitalphotos.net

A gal who was terribly shrill

Told her hubby it wasn't a thrill

To break his joystick

To make her point stick

But she smiled as he cried, "You killed Bill!"

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

 

This poem was written for Mad Kane's Limerick-Off

(where poets and rhymers go to show off)

and inspired by the news that women

are happier when they can comfort their men.

 

Technorati Tags: Relationships, Happy, Limerick, Humor, Poem, Poetry

A Limerick On College Donations and Restrooms

image by anankkml via freedigitalphotos.net

A Potty Plaque for Giving Back

A fellow who had a degree

Gave back to his school gen'rously

When they said his cash

Bought him the backsplash -

His thoughts could inspire all who pee!

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: College, Donations, Restroom, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

This limerick was inspired by this article on Neatorama

and written for Mad-Kane's Limerick-Off.

YTT - Happy V-Day from the Three Wives of Newt

Newt's Loot

It's fun to remember that Newt

Has made three gals say, "Aw, shoot.

I'd love to marry you.

Yes, that rock will do...

so long as it's not some saved loot."

© 2012 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Thank you, Joe My God for showing me this video!

Josh from "Its Tiger Time" invented You Tube Tuesday so we could each share one video a week which we found to be fun, inspiring or otherwise noteworthy.  If you choose to participate, don't forget to leave your links in my comments section (so I can come visit you) and on Josh's page (so you can be part of the contest).  I hope you like this week's selection!

Technorati Tags: Valentine, Newt, Wives, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

YTT - Would you bet your son he couldn't do backflips every day?

The Parental Bluff

Some dads don't make bets with their sons -

the silly responsible ones -

but some dads, they do,

and some mothers too.

The child "wins" but they too gain tons.

© 2012 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Josh from "Its Tiger Time" invented You Tube Tuesday so we could each share one video a week which we found to be fun, inspiring or otherwise noteworthy.  If you choose to participate, don't forget to leave your links in my comments section (so I can come visit you) and on Josh's page (so you can be part of the contest).  I hope you like this week's selection!

I have also shared this post at D'Verse Poets' Pub -
a great place for poets amonst the internet hub.

Technorati Tags:  Video, Backflip, Parenting, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

Paula Deen Helps Cause AND Cure Diabetes

I didn't laugh too hard when I heard about Paula Deen,

making money on both ends, living the American dream!

A Limerick for Paula Deen

A gal with a very full plate

Knew she would have to endure hate

For making us fat

And then after that

Selling drugs that reverse our sad fate.

© 2012 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

This rhyme was written for Mad Kane's Limerick-Off today

and will also be shared at Josh's You Tube Tuesday.

Technorati Tags:  Paula Deen, Diabetes, News, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

Taco Crime Limerick

A man was trying to hide
The fact he'd recently tried
To use 9-1-1

As his hired gun
To buy tacos, drive-through, with no ride.

© 2012 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

I'd like to thank Buzz Feed's list of taco related crimes

for inspiring this limerick and more rhyming good times.

Technorati Tags: Crime, Taco, Funny, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

Angry Birds Movie Limerick

 

This movie looks like one big commercial,

Yet I doubt it will be controversial.

With just enough action,

We'll find satisfaction

And feel, in its own way, it's special.

2011 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Technorati Tags: Angry Birds, Movie, Commercial, Humor, Limerick, Poetry



Josh from "Its Tiger Time" invented You Tube Tuesday so we could each share one video a week which we found to be fun, inspiring or otherwise noteworthy.  If you choose to participate, don't forget to leave your links in my comments section (so I can come visit you) and on Josh's page (so you can be part of the contest).

The Grinch and Godzilla

Image by Simon Howden via freedigitalphotos.com

The Grinch has a friend named Godzilla.
He treats him like a pet Gorilla.
They make people frown
In malls around town
Then relax at the Grinch's villa.

© 2011 - All Rights Reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Thank you Neatorama for inspiring this limerick!

Rubber-Band Regret

These rhymes were written for Mad-Kane's Limerick Off.

Click to read more funny entries.  I promise you won't scoff.

VERSION #1:

A guy who was frequently prone

to gain cash that others had blown

spent a small fortune on

rubber-bands, with a yawn.

"I'd invested if only I'd known."

© 2011 - All rights reserved - Rachel Hoyt

VERSION #2:
   

A guy who was frequently prone

to gain cash that others had blown

spent a small fortune on

rubber-bands, with a yawn.

"Esto me hace un papelón?"

© 2011 - All rights reserved - Rachel Hoyt

(Non-Rhyming Side Note: I changed the final line because I have always wanted to rhyme in Spanish and this seemed a great time to try it.  The translation is, roughly, "This makes me foolish?" or "This makes a fool out of me?")

Technorati Tags: Cash, Money, Rubber-Bands, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

Jelly Bean Animator

A woman was famous worldwide
and wanted to take a wild ride.
She felt a call to create
To jelly bean animate
and did something that no one else tried.

© 2011 - all rights reserved - Rachel Hoyt

Technorati Tags: Entertainment, Jelly Bean, Animation, Creative, Limerick, Poetry

This rhyme was written for Mad Kane's limerick contest.
Come on over to read or participate.  Her blog is one of the best!

Batman is on the Case

Image by Luigi Diamanti via freedigitalphotos.net

A woman at work on a case

Had Batman show up at her place

Said he saw in the sky

The bat signal (no lie)

But she just didn't trust his thin face.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Entertainment, News, Batman, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

This post was written for Mad-Kane's Limerick-Off.
Click to read more.  I promise you won't scoff!

I'm also sharing this at the Poetry Pantry
where there's much more lovely poetry to see.