Sunday Surprise - Crazy Crime Limerick

Moo Crimes

by Rachel Hoyt

Image by Luigi Diamanti via freedigitalphotos.net

A guy had a notable knack

For stealing himself a milk snack.

He dressed like a cow

And crawled out with a wow -

An udderly simple sneak attack.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme was written for Mad Kane's Limerick-Off

where the punch lines will make you snicker, not scoff.

Friday Photo Fun - Something Plentiful

Something Plentiful

by Rachel Hoyt

Wild ones make one think of harm,

because sometimes they are short on charm,

though their transformational qualities are many.

For good or bad they grow aplenty. 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Friday Photo Fun is when I share a randomly captured moment,

or perhaps a photo experiment with more purposeful intent,
then pair it with a rhyming riddle to exercise your mind
and teach you more weird facts to which you once were blind.

After the answer is guessed, I will post a second, non-abstract photo,

and just in case you wanted to know,

the first is not a photoshopped version of the second -

they're shot using different techniques that to me beckon.

Congratulations to Bryan on guessing correct
that mushrooms were the abstract-ified object!

 

Technorati Tags: Game, Abstract Photo, Rhyme, Humor, Guess, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - Apple, Tim Cook and @FridgeToaster

image by Bill Longshaw via freedigitalphotos.net

Hey there Mr. Cook,

I saw what you said and, look,

@FridgeToaster is my friend

and your comment seemed intended to offend.

Who would want that combo, you say?

Probably quite a few people would pay

for that handy two-in-one appliance,

maybe partially in defiance,

but also because none of us made as much money

as Apple did last quarter, honey,

and our smart phones and iPads got us thinking

that one way to avoid further financial sinking

is to buy things that bring more than one type of joy

like those gadgets that are phone, camera, computer and toy.

A retro VacuumLamp would look cool and save space

near the FridgeToaster I imagine in my place.
I just thought I'd mention it in case you realize

your product helped spur these thoughts you seem to despise.
Were you just being an imitation hater?
Will you reveal FridgeToaster plans later?
Or perhaps an even more awesome duo?
I know you'll always tell me your product is more awesome.
The question is will I see it as a thought blossom?

I had planned to purchase an Apple product soon
but haven't appreciated being treated like a loon
for being content with my PC in the mean time
although it has supported my creative side just fine.

Enjoy swimming in denial and your big money pile!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt
of Rhyme Me a Smile

Wacky Word Wednesday - Irenic

Irenic

by Rachel Hoyt

Image by pixtawan via freedigitalphotos.net

Irenic may look a lot like ironic,

but that is, at best, a mnemonic.

An irenic soul wants peace and isn't demonic.

An irenic might rather drink gin and tonic

and listen to something symphonic,

though it may seem hedonic,

because an irenic seeking peace in a glass seems ironic.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Irenic, Poetry

Announcement - Lung Love Rhyme Contest Winners

Congrats to the winners!

I would first like to thank all who participated.

Reading your rhymes made me feel elated.

It was hard for me to pick a top three

but I've come to a decision, finally!

1st Place - Lolamouse

You started off thinking it cool
But ended up looking the fool
Your lungs have turned black
Your clothes reek; you hack
Should have listened to those films at school!

2nd Place - Brian Miller

speaking through your neck
makes you sound metallic
i say this cause i love you
not to be a smart alec
& would rather you be in my life
a whole lot longer

3rd Place - Bryan White

I've been done with the smokes for well over a year.

The cravings and withdraw were rather severe,

but with pains in the chest and shortness of breath,

each smoke that you smoke leads you closer to death.

And now that they've gone over $5 a pack,

I doubt that I'll ever get the urge to go back.

If there's one thing I care about more than my health,

it's the cash in my wallet and my delusions of wealth.

They say that I'm cheap, but at least I'm smoke free.

Now if I could just lose the weight,

I'd be as fine as could be!

I will contact you soon about your prizes! Congratulations!

You three are this year's lung love rhyming sensations!!

Technorati Tags: Smoking, Contest, Winners, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

Friday Photo Fun - Something Scrumptious

Something Scrumptious

by Rachel Hoyt

In ancient times, some slaves survived on this, water and bread.

Some said it cures drunkenness, overeating and sicknesses of tummy or head!

Currently China produces around 66% of the world's supply.

It's a member of the lily family often eaten by you and I.

So what is this thing that my senses find scrumptious?

Go ahead, take a guess.  Be presumptuous!

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Friday Photo Fun is when I share a randomly captured moment,

or perhaps a photo experiment with more purposeful intent,
then pair it with a rhyming riddle to exercise your mind
and teach you more weird facts to which you once were blind.

After the answer is guessed, I will post a second, non-abstract photo,

and just in case you wanted to know,

the first is not a photoshopped version of the second -

they're shot using different techniques that to me beckon.

Wanda is on a rhyming riddle solving roll!
She solved this one so fast it makes me think I have a mole.

Answer:  Garlic

Technorati Tags: Game, Abstract Photo, Rhyme, Humor, Guess, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - Earth Day, Methane and Farts

Image by Simon Howden via freedigitalphotos.net

Dear Fred and Schaub's Family,

This year for Earth Day I'm committing to a big step.

I've been ruminating 'bout ruminants and the gasses they schlep

through our ozone layer, depleting it's strength,

and possibly shortening the planet (and our) life's length.

I feel I need to make a much bigger effort

to avoid need for animals that don't mean to hurt

but fart and burp too much methane to be good.

Avoid ruminants I can, will and should.

I will buy hardly any yarn or things made of wool,

even though their textures are fuzzy and look cool.

I will continue to avoid buying excessive leather

and their plastic-y counterpart we call pleather.

I will continue not eating deer, giraffe and goats

and try to stop dreaming of petting their soft throats.

For every way I've encouraged ruminant burps and farts

I will change my methods in big ways but keep small parts.

I will greatly cut back on my beef consumption

but keep helping with the milk under the presumption

that most of the biggest beef lovers I know don't,

and even if milk mustaches are cool again, won't.

For the occasional beef splurge, I will seek greatness.

(Fred, this is where you can help.  Pardon my get-to-the-point lateness.)

I've heard that feeding cows garlic can help a lot

and think that would taste much better than what we've now got.

I think we should go beyond garlic and try to breed

Fred's special Black Steak recipe through the food we feed

a specially selected group of epicurean cows

that can help us see the benefits of healthier chow.

Fred, I know your recipe is a secret, but perhaps there is

a magic price for selling or a new branch for the family biz...

I just don't think I can give up eating steak completely

because eating yours annually makes my life taste sweetly.

At the very least, please file this in your "maybe I'll do this someday" file.

Happy Earth Day!

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Earth Day, Cows, Ruminant, Fart, Methane, Poem, Letter, Steak

Wacky Word Wednesday - Nugatory

Nugatory

by Rachel Hoyt

Something nugatory

wouldn't be a star in a story.

It's like moss on a tree.

You'd be lucky to see

something nugatory -

not important to me.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Nugatory, Poetry

Monday Fun Day - Lung Love Rhyme Contest

Each year on what would have been

my Grandma Betty's birthday,

I like to invite all of my friends

to participate in rhyme play.

The goal is to encourage smokers

to show more love for their lungs,

and teach children to hate those lung chokers

that many love though they taste like bung.

Last year I had a limerick contest

but this year I'll allow all rhymes.

I will decide which three poems I like best

and award REAL PRIZES of the etsy kind...

RULES:

(1)  Please keep your rhyme to 20 lines or less

and write about how quitting smoking is for the best.

(2)  Post your rhyme in the comments section below

and/or on your blog and use Mister Linky (below) to let us know.

(3)  If you post the rhyme on your blog please share

the link to my contest to help show others there.

(4)  Use my first lines below or write your own.

Know that I prefer you use humor to make your feelings known.

(5)  Enter by midnight on Saturday, April 21st

and please share this post at the sites you socialize most.

PRIZES!!

Three lucky winners will win poetocard subscriptions and coupons

to shop at my etsy shop for themselves, friends or their moms.

1st Prize - Free 1 year Poetocard Subscription plus a 25% off coupon for my etsy shop

2nd Prize - Free 1 year Poetocard Subscription plus a 20% off coupon for my etsy shop

3rd Prize - Free 1 year Poetocard Subscription plus a 15% off coupon for my etsy shop

RHYMES

Without further adieu,

here's some rhymes to help you

get inspired to write a ditty too!

Cheers, quitter!

by Rachel Hoyt

Cheers to you, you quitter!

Try not to look so bitter.

In the long run you'll be fitter...

and possibly a really great knitter?

Cold Turkey

by Rachel Hoyt

I'm not looking back.

(puff, puff, hack, hack)

Although I hear you there

and still smell you on my hair,

I will chose to ignore,

to brave this tough chore,

to avoid a self-induced whack...

(puff, puff, hack, hack)

Puffing Pete

by Rachel Hoyt

Puffing Pete

thought it was neat

to make smoke rings

and set fire to things

until one day a child looked at him and said,

"Sir, halos are coming out of your head.

I think that means you're nearly dead."

poems above © 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

IF YOU POST YOUR RHYME TO YOUR BLOG, PLEASE SHARE THE LINK HERE:

Technorati Tags: Contest, Smoking, Quitting, Rhyme, Humor, News, Poetry

This post was shared at:

Sunday Surprise - Dumb Criminal Limerick

Whoa!  Woe.

by Rachel Hoyt

Image by chawalitpix via freedigitalphotos.com

A man was recounting his woes,

The fact that he stupidly chose,

To pocket his phone

Although he'd known

It loves the cops like a brown nose.

He had noticed a few butt dials

But didn't fear criminal trials

'Til he heard ding-dong

And before too long

Came to face the police men's smug smiles.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme was written for Mad Kane's Woebegone Limerick Off

and because this idiot car thief article made me laugh my arse off!

Technorati Tags:  Dumb Criminal, Butt Dial, Police, Humor, Limerick, Poetry

Friday Photo Fun - Something Orange

I grow to full body size rather young,

Don't have a human stomach or lungs,

Eat just about any food you'll give me,

And lots of it because I'm a piggy...

But I'm not a pig, so what am I?

Take a guess.  It's fun to try!

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Friday Photo Fun is when I share a randomly captured moment,

or perhaps a photo experiment with more purposeful intent,
then pair it with a rhyming riddle to exercise your mind
and teach you more weird facts to which you once were blind.

UPDATE / ANSWER

Wanda had the answer swimming in her head.
"Koy fish are orange," she said.

Technorati Tags: Photo, Abstract, Rhyme, Riddle, Game, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - Earthquake Safety and Wallpaper

Prof. Dr. Lothar Stepniewski and team,

I thought I'd be writing to say something mean,

like the fact that wallpaper is unstylish, not keen,

but the reason behind this is noble, I've seen,

and watching that earthquake safety test was serene.

Will it also help flimsy shacks made of plywood?

Can it make any minimally safe place all good?

How many different colors will launch this year?

How soon will it be available to me here?

Will I have to paper my house inside and out?

Can I skip the shower?  I just re-did the tile and grout.

And, what about the floors? Should I paper under?

Or should I continue to layer over the last floorings, I wonder...

I hope your commercials will answer my questions.

I'm certain you'll take serious this silly American's suggestions.

I just can't wait 'til it hits the shelves at Home Depot!

Will there be a new product sale?  Oh, I hope so!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

P.S.  Can I have some for free if I promote funky wallpaper style?

 

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt. All rights reserved.

Teachnorati Tags: Earthquake, Wallpaper, Rhyme, Humor, Poem, Poetry

Wacky Word Wednesday - Meshuggeneh

Meshuggeneh

by Rachel Hoyt

Image by Farconville via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Only a meshuggeneh

would eat a bucket of baklava.

I can't believe they canoodled ya.

You're such a meshuggeneh.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Meshuggeneh, Poetry

Friday Photo Fun - Something Swirled

Something Swirled

by Rachel Hoyt

Once thought to soothe throats -

A happily consumed medicine -

Now used to stir brews in hopes,

Childlike sweetness will sink in. 

What was this thing I swirled in my shot?
I await the most clever guesses you've got.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Friday Photo Fun is when I share a randomly captured moment,

or perhaps a photo experiment with more purposeful intent,
then pair it with a rhyming riddle to exercise your mind
and teach you more weird facts to which you once were blind.

 

 

Congrats to Wanda Plain and Simple and Pat Hatt for the win!

You've just read my thoughts better than my twin!!

Technorati Tags: Photo, Abstract, Rhyme, Riddle, Game, Poetry

Thursday Thoughts - Angry Birds and Sling Shots

Image by supakitmod via freedigitalphotos.net

Dear Rovio,

I'd like to thank you for your game, Angry Birds,

which must be designed by truly genius nerds.

It seems like half the world is addicted,

some for reasons you may or may not have predicted.

I'm sure you made the main bird red

to plant feelings of love in my head

and gave the birds each spontaneity

to make them seem as cool as Fonzie.

Yet do you realize the true significance

of the simple sling shot's resurgence?

Forgotten for years except by boys.

Found in stores by the children's toys.

Few had seen how one well placed thud

could turn a castle into crumbled crud.

Now we are all learning angles to sling

flying balls of fury at incessant chirping.

Rather than dreaming of some violent mess

befalling enemies, causing duress,

I now dream of catapulting tomatoes

from my underground cellar into tornadoes.

I'm not one of the fifteen percent

who falls faint when blood is spent,

but I prefer your game's crash and poof

where demise is much more aloof.

I hope that the potential for change that I see

comes to the world because of thee.

What if someday gangsters preferred

sling shots to pistols for protecting their herd?

What will come next after outer space?

Some climate change ravaged place?

I'm certain you'll think of something with style

which will dazzle, intrigue and beguile...

Thank you for making phone games worth my while!

Sincerely,

Rachel Hoyt

of Rhyme Me a Smile

Wacky Word Wednesday - Vim

Vim

by Rachel Hoyt

Image by Rosemary Ratcliff

There is a thing called vim,

A force that lives within,

A vigor never dim,

The opposite of grim,

A lively whim,

Vim.

© 2012 Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

Every week I rhyme and define a new wacky word.

Come on over to indulge your inner nerd.

And, please let me know of any weird words you've heard.

Technorati Tags: Words, Vocabulary, Poem, Rhyme, Vim, Poetry